2nd Wedding Anniversary.

I kind of always knew that my marriage was doomed. I went ahead and got married anyway. I would like to say that I was in control of my life at that time and that I made sound decisions, but I find it difficult to take a step back from the situation and see it as anything other than me constantly compromising, giving in, and giving up who I am.

From all outside appearances, we were happy.  I was the good, loyal and dutiful wife.  Where he went, I followed.  What he wanted, I made happen. What he needed, I gave entirely.

Today is our 2nd wedding anniversary.  I left him about 5 weeks ago.  almost 2 weeks ago, I told him that I was not coming home to him.  He was distraught, I was distraught.  I almost fell back on an old crutch, but I stood my ground.  I did not make it to the hardware store. I did not hurt myself.

There is so much that my life needs from me, so much that I need from my life.  My future is so brilliant.  I need to be free and unbound by the expectations and desires of another… of him.

It took me over a year to even get my name legally changed to his.  Thank you cards left unsent.  Rings that made me itch, never worn.

I loved him.  He loved me.  We could not make it work. Im not the girl for him.

Hes not the girl for me.