Explosive Resolution!

Firstly, to everyone that cares, happy St. Patrick’s Day.  Secondly as to the events described in the last entry with regards to the whole friend that was developing feelings towards me–that situation seems to have "resolved" its self.  In a rather explosive fashion that is.  She told me that she was upset that I’d introduced her to my friends as "my friend" as opposed to "the girl I’m kind of dating."  Between that and she was upset that it was she felt only a physical thing between us, which is somewhat ironic considering that was my concern weeks ago and one of the major factors that made me so reticent about the whole thing to begin with.  That being said she introduced me to a dozen people over the past week as "her friend" which didn’t matter to me whatsoever, because for the time being that’s all we were–good friends who were dating from time to time.

Then she starts talking about families and whatnot and I mentioned that I’m not the settling down type and how I didn’t want kids, something she informed me "didn’t make her feel good about ‘us’."  I was just being honest, I really don’t want kids unless I have to have them (ie. I start dating someone who already has children).  I already did that for a few years, and right now in my life I don’t want to have that responsibility on me.

This all explodes into some kind of argument that I’m not sure what was really about.  But I told her that I really didn’t need the headache right now, considering all the changes that my life is currently undergoing.  Oh yes, I remember what the argument was about.  My ex, Jolene, still talks to me on a semi regular basis (and makes me want to put my head through a wall), but she’s a good person who needs friends and I want to try and do that for her if I can–even if it isn’t good friends.  Well, my friend’s ex is interested in Jolene, and I agreed to set them up to meet and whatnot and see how things go between them.  Jolene still has vast and deep feelings for me (after a year of being broken up) and I knew there was no way she’d agree to go meet this guy if she knew she was the ex of the person I was kind of dating, so I said that he was a friend of a friend.  This pissed off the girl that wanted to be more than friends with me and I was unsure of and wanted to take it slow.

She was all kinds of upset that I lied to Jolene–when I’ve known her for years and I know how she would react and whatnot to a variety of situations and trying to get her to try this guy who’d be good for her would be a good positive step, one that she would not take if she knew the truth to a certain situation, she’d let her own pride and jealousy prevent her from taking that positive step in a healing direction.

That being all said, I told my friend that I didn’t think it was such a good idea that we should be dating right now if she’s going to get all explosive over something so small.  Then she informs me that that wasn’t REALLY what she was upset about.  And that she’s upset because the way I’ve been acting reminds her of her ex with the whole "we’re dating, we’re not dating" thing.  I straight up told her that we were dating–loosely and non-exclusivly.  And just because I’m not dating anyone else doesn’t mean that I want to be exclusive with her because I want to take things nice and slow.  I still don’t know what she wanted me to say when she told me that.  All I do know is it felt like she wanted me to promise I wasn’t like "him."  Some guy I know nothing about, nor do I know what he did, or what he was like.  So how can I promise that?  Realistically I can’t–and won’t.  After some more arguing I told her that I really didn’t care and that I felt maybe it was best if we just stopped dating for now.

This set her off on a whole new world of psychosis which culminated in her telling me that she’s keeping the movies I let her ex borrow, she’s telling Jolene "everything," and that obviously I won’t be with her because I’m "so in love with Holley."  (All because earlier she called and I talked to her for a bit and she was supposed to come down and visit but didn’t.)  And that "All [she] ever wanted was to be with [me]."  All of this after a mere six weeks!  It’s a damned good thing I had a feeling that I didn’t want to be with her.  I’m a little hurt about what she said in regards to Holley.  I don’t think that I still love her, I know I used to and I have a lot of things with respect to that that I need to tell Holley just to get them out in the open.  Just because she needs to know IMO.  

In other news, I’m trapped in my room today, my roommate is bringing his girlfriend over for the day and she positivly hates me–mostly because she’s a lying maniuplative sod who is using my friend for emotional support and lying to him about their exclusiviness.  And my friend is not exactly the most confident fellow on the planet.  Therefore she has no problems stringing him along and only calling when she needs or wants something that she can’t get any of her other three steadies to buy for her.

And I called her out on it in front of all three people she was sleeping with at the same time (and didn’t know that she was sleeping with the other two).  That ended horribly for all four of them.  However my friend doesn’t believe me and I stopped trying to convince him that she was using him.  But she still hasn’t forgiven me for ruining her little player’s club.  Ah well, it’s St. Patrick’s day, time to run downstairs and grab the beer and have fun on WoW.  As soon as I get more cigarettes that is…Mission Impossible.

–RK