The Tribe has fallen.
Where did I come from? In the short term or the long term? Well, the short term is a good place to start. It’s been the major cause of stress in my life since December, since The Party. Being the only one with a job leading a lifestyle of anarchy. Which is what it really was. Three people living in a house with upwards of twelve people staying there at any given time, no bills paid…ever…no rent paid…ever…and yet we survived, how did we eat? I stole food and whatnot to keep everyone fed. I stole so much all the time for months, and I fell down a deep hole losing my sense of identity.
Was I a thief? I tried finding myself in hallucinogenics perhaps trying to find the answer in some strange trip. Being single for so long I tried finding myself in the arms of others, all I managed to do was lose myself. Somewhere in the middle of January I had a nervous breakdown with some kind of fierce sky high blood pressure. Thus, I was in the hospital until that came down.
Disgusted with myself and the living conditions I was in I set out to try and find a home, the building we were staying in was condemned thus forcing the tribe to scatter…kind of…I lost my job, my car, and my home within the space of a week. Surprisingly I didn’t find myself depressed. I did find myself homeless for three weeks though, which sucked. Not the first time I’ve had to deal with that, though I do hope it to be the last.
However, now I’ve been living in the new house for two weeks, with the two people I was supposed to live with for a while. I’ve stopped the illegal activities because I am generally a law abiding citizen,
Still without a car I’m almost surely employed, and I have a roof over my head, I’m still not eating, but I can stand to lose a few pounds anyway.
The new house is not without it’s problems, trying to escape the rough lifestyle I was leading as the trailblazer that I was amongst the tribe has lead me to become the papa bear of the community, thus there are only supposed to be three people living here and for the past two weeks we’ve had seven, not counting the other two nights we had even more here. This cannot be, we’ve given four of the people until Monday to get out and the last until April (he was the only one we’d said could even stay here). But now, what are they doing to rectify their situation?
Nothing.
They are jobless (for over a year now), and have no place to go. Seeing as how I was homeless, they need to man up and do what they have to do. It took me less than a week to find a job. Why have they been unemployed for over a year now? The one doesn’t bathe, doesn’t do anything except sleep and play video games. All they do is drugs, I’ve moved on, they can’t do that here and they need to get out. I still love them, I am only hard on them for their own sake.
The tribe has fallen, as their father figure it is dead and rotting, the tribe began dying long ago we could just not smell its stink. I love them to death, but it’s over. We must all move on, the Universe has spoken, we are not meant to be so joined as we were, I’ve come to terms with this, why can’t they?
–RK