……….

where do i start? most people would say the beginning..but i don’t think i know where it began. Maybe it started that day in seventh grade when craig found out i liked him and then told me that he didn’t like me in front of everyone at recess. Maybe it started in 9th grade when Brian said it would be “too weird because we’re friends”. I have no adult relationship experience. I don’t even know how it would start. i was told the other day, by a coworker, that i am very pretty. She asked me if I had a boyfriend, I told her no and she asked me why. I don’t know how to answer that question. How am i supposed to know why guys don’t like me? I was told once that i’m too physical. Not as in sexually..but as in that i..how can i put this….i like to play around..tickling, wrestling, and the like. I’m also strong for a girl. i took weightlifting in high school to help me lose weight and to tone my body. while i was doing that..my strength increased as well. I guess that bothers guys. They must feel like they can’t protect me or whatever. but most people don’t look past my body or face and see me. the me that would do almost anything for someone. the me that would put her entire heart and soul into a relationship. god..i just want to be loved. Is that so much to ask? i want the ups and downs of a relationship.. i want to be able to fight with a guy just so we can makeup. i want to be married. maybe even kids one day..(just not right now..i’m too young for them)..you know..most people who are virgins are proud to say that they are…I’m not so sure that I am proud about it anymore. It seems like that when guys find out…they run like scalded apes or something..well i think i’ve yakked enough tonite and I have class in the morning. G’nite all

Peace ~Auryn~