Beautiful Bartenders, “Busy” Bees, Break Beats
I have found myself another unhealthy obsession. The bartender at my favorite hangout. Shes a little brunette with huge brown eyes, and everything else that makes my legs go numb.
Saturday night, she was wearing my favorite outfit. Extremely low-rise jeans, and a too-short pink tee shirt with Jew-Lo emblazoned on the front. Her pretty little belly was poking out in front, and I could barely contain myself. That scene from Pulp Fiction kept running through my tortured mind.
But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, Id wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.
I know I overanalyze things to death, but my approaching her has me in a bit of a conundrum.
Do I ask this girl to see her outside her place of employment? I know shes got a man, but that doesnt really bother me. What bothers me is that she probably gets propositioned all the time by every clown with Jack Daniels on his breath. I suspect that one of the reasons shes always flashing me her million-dollar smile is because Im above that. (And because Im a regular. And I tip well. And Im sort of handsome and dashing.)
So do I commit the faux pas of hitting on my favorite bartender? I can live with the No thanks, I have a man whos rich, or, Id love to, but your hands are much too big, but I dont want to take a step backward.
Of course, Id do it when I first show. Before Ive had a drink. Itd be a shoot-from-the-hip, unassuming conversation. Something I can slip in while ordering a drink.
Please set aside your personal feelings about me. I know you all love me. But if it were you, how would you respond? Ill play closer attention to those of you who have been that bartender.
Im thinking the deck is definitely stacked against me. Ive been flip-flopping on the issue for some time.
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I am learning, in my current job, that it takes a special kind of person to be a consultant.
There are 28 of us on this current project. Roughly 10 or so worked on a similar project two years or so ago. Come January 15, they are keeping only 12. Those 12 will stay through March or April. The pay is good and the work is easy, so naturally, everyone wants to stay on past the 15th.
During the first phase, I was determined to stand out above the crowd. We were given roughly 200 assignments, and told to have them finished in two weeks time. In the first day, I blew through half of my list. It wasnt like the work was difficult or anything. And I was so gung-ho about being out of the trees and back behind a desk (where I belong), I jumped right in with both feet. It was a contest with myself to see if I could finish 100 in a day.
Word got around at my lightning-fast rate, and it sent the herd into a sort of quiet desperation. Everyone else sped up, too. We were flying through the work.
The woman who is our point of contact within the company got wind of the fast pace, and put it to a stop. Finish too fast, and everyone will think you guys didnt really do what youre supposed to, she said. It kind of surprised me that shed say such a thing, but what really got my goat was the mutterings of some of the people who have apparently been in consulting for a while:
Youre going to work yourselves out of a job, they said.
The woman who runs the contracting company has told us that the point of contact doesnt have a preference as to who stays and who goes after the 15th. She is apparently unconcerned with the amount of money her company is spending on this project, and believe me, its an obscene amount.
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt”>The sole discretion, it appears, is going to fall upon the woman who runs the contracting company. And do you think shes going to want to keep people who are working efficiently?
So it looks like its best to stay in the herd. Dont jump out ahead, and dont fall behind. Ive resorted to bringing in candy and kissing some serious ass. And working slowly.
Im so ashamed. But Ive got bills to pay, and Im not about to go back to the trees if I dont have to.
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I bought a Sirius Satellite receiver and portable docking station (for use in my home). I have wanted one for the better part of 2004, but due to employment complications such as NOT HAVING A JOB I had to hold off on the purchase.
You can have your fucking iPods. Anyone who even remotely considers him/herself a music connoisseur (read: Nude) should have one. I cant seem to turn off Channel 43”Backspin” (all old-school hip-hop).
I’ve made the faux paus. I gave my phone number to the hot bartender. I was prepared for a kiss off, but I wasn’t prepared to be ignored the next time I went in. After that, I chickened out and never went back. **sigh** I suck.
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I’ve been that bartender. Not to brag, but I’ve been told I’m foxy. When I was bartending, guys hit on me a lot…sort of. I think you would be suprised that she prob. doesn’t get hit on as often as you think. I mean, sure dudes are making inappropriate comments to her all the time. But a genuine proposition from a charming and foxy guy such as yourself will def. illicit a response…(cont.)
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…even if it’s just to think about you in a new way. I remember there was this totally cute funny guy that was a regular, but never really flirted. Then right before got a new job and moved, he asked me out. I was bummed, because I was leaving. When you bartend, you are kind of on a stage with everyone watching, and you feel a bit more vunerable than people think. They tend to put you on a..(cont
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..pedestal, when really you are just a normal person. It’s all a show, with the hair toss, and the over-the shoulder smile..etc. Does that make sense? Anyway, if she is truly cool and down to earth, she will be receptive and even flattered that you had the balls to ask her out. I say go for it.
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when I was a waitress or at any other job I had no problem being hit on if I LIKED the person hitting on me. It’s only annoying to be hit on if you have no interest in the person or they gross you out. Get a better gauge of what she thinks of you. I knew this guy in Alaska who had a thing for that little bit of belly on a woman. rolls of flab=sick, little paunch=cute
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If I had a car, I would get Sirius. Never tried it. Love XM though.XM makes long drives So much easier.
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Sorry I am not going to go with the rest of the answers. I would say not to go for it. And not because she probably gets hit on because even if she does, that does not mean that one of those people don’t interest her right back. I think it would be not wise because she already has a man. I know you say that you don’t care but do you really think she would say yes if she has a man? Is that not…
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setting yourself up for a no answer. Just a thought.
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I will set aside my personal feelings of love for you. *wink* Ask her if she has a tat, maybe show her yours. Small talk works wonders (not that I would know but I have heard stories)
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ryn: Yeah, thats nice. But their logic doesnt make much sense. Its like theyre saying, Dont take legal abortion away, which it isnt going away, and force us to go get butchered in an old alley.” Id choose just giving birth than having some quack, qualified or not, give me an abortion. Even with GW in the office we still have abortions, so what are they worried about?
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Hullo, darling. Forget the bartender and ask out the woman who runs the contracting company is my advice. Tending bar is theatre. Bear has sold me on Sirrius. Now you.
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I’ve been on both sides of that coin. Don’t screw up a good relationship with a bartender. They’re much more valuable when your dating life goes sour.
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make it a group thing with the bartender. Ask her out, tell her to bring some girlfriends along, you’ll bring some friends. Better getting to know her outside her work environment. She may have a pot bellied twin sister.
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I do recall a conversation with you about working yourself out of a job. Interesting…I do recall you telling me that I was wrong, ridiculous, just all around stupid. All right, maybe not that extreme, but I do remember you disagreeing with me. You know what comes next, right?
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iPods suck, but not as badly as my Raiders, baby!! Re: the bartender, 10-1 she met her current man in a bar. I know you’re gunshy right now, but so what if she blows you off? At least you’d know one way or the other. If it’s “no”, you still get to check her out and know she won’t get pissy if you hit on someone else. If it’s “yes” then you get to obsess over that for a week.
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I’d be more worried about the fact that she’s attached – if she said yes to you, what does that say about her likely fidelity in the long run? You’re better than that P – bide your time. Nothing wrong with letting her know you’d be around if she WAS single…
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Okay– here’s the perspective of a real-live Hot Bartender chick *grin*: It totally depends. I used to get hit on ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. Most of the time it was by gross drunkards… but occasionally it was by a hot, intelligent guy. Truth be told though, a LOT of bars’ mgmt. tell their girls that they CANNOT fraternize with the customers. Her job may depend on it, so tread lightly.
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If you don’t tell her you like her, I WILL!! Heh. You know I’m kidding, right? Re: Our conversation yesterday: You’re right, he did mess with my head. I cried a little on the plane last night.
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RYN, Thanks for actually answering my questions. I guess I am a “cradle catholic” too? Never heard that term before. Anyway I appreciate the comments. You summed it up well by mentioning rules. I guess as I get older, the rules I fought mean a bit more to me. Heck, were it not for the rules I’m pretty sure I’d have long ago let my marriage become a statistic by now. Thanks again.
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Well I’m not going to even pretend to give advice on this subject but if I were it would be along the lines of Edith Wharton’s “The House of Mirth.”
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*grins* A man who likes a bit of pot bellyness on ladies? Gosh there is a god!!
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I wouldnt ever ask out a bartender while shes working, because smiling and flirting with you is part of her job. Thats what gets her the best tips. I used to have a HUGE thing for a H-O-double-T female bartender. She was build REALLY nice, with a pretty face. However, shed flirt with EVERYBODY when she was working, and she drove a BMW. Apparently, flirting=money. Eric
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You are the man !!! Happy Holidays COOl ONE
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had both forgotten how to nurse. I was still in just as much pain, but now I had two children who didn’t want to breast feed. He was losing weight already. He feeds over 14 times a day and she over 10. It was just too much between the pain and the emotion. It was not an easy decision, believe me. It’s been six days and I still cry at least once a day over it. I wish I could keep trying, but
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omg don’t ask her out…start a conversation about some really great place you can bet she’s never been to. really play it up…then in a week or so bring it up again and then mention you’re going there and would she like to come along? innocent and almost like you aren’t really asking her out..it drives us INSANE!! 🙂 I dont’ think i’ve ever noted you before, but I always read…….
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“I know shes got a man, but that doesnt really bother me.” *sigh*
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Hey J, Take a chance on this girl if you like her. Won’t know if you don’t try? I am sure you will come up with a suave way to get her interested.. stand out in the crowd. Good luck. Definately do it sober. Aims
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ryn: you are, you are. You’ve even left me notes on some of my past “favorites only” entries.
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ryc: I take it your witticism is meant to impress me?
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RYN: And those people will say “WOW! What an amazing woman! Look at all the wonderful things she saved from the trash! And my husband will still be alive to shove all the crap out the front door and do a little dance in the cleared space. 🙂 You think I’m charming, admit it. Be well,
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Having unabounding faith in people, I’d say that if she really digs you, it won’t matter what the timing nor the circumstances are. But I had to say, it would be to ask as you order your first drink from her at the beginning of her shift if you could.
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the girl that asked what is an orgasm did not mean “organism” she meant an “orgasm” but from the looks of it it kinda seems like you have never had one.
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I haven’t been that bartender so I’m not sure how I would respond. Though if I was, and it was a regular who asked me out, that would be different than just the average Jack Daniels-breathing moron. A regular would have more of a chance, I would think.
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jerk, not everyone is stupid enough to catch it i caught it i just didn’t want to be like ya’ll jerks that are too caught up in your own life to realize that not everyone is going to catch every single stupid thing you post on the internet!!!!!!!!!! ok alright i sure hope we are on the same page since you are not smart enough to catch what i meant! buh-bye
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i can’t wait to get a sirius radio. Then Howard Stern can swear on my radio. And….I can finally work out to whatever I want.
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i know it’s an old entry — but is the bartender much younger than you? if yes, don’t ask her, she’ll think you’re a dirty “old” man.
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