Chuck/Blather, in his own words

I stole this idea from Hicks, who did a similar entry for me a few years ago.

I scraped back through my notes, and pulled out a few of the gems Chuck left me over the last few years. This is by no means exhaustive (how many times would you REALLY want to read him propositioning me?), but it is a fun little glimpse into how I’ll remember the Queen:

THINLY VEILED ADVANCES

Congratulations. You left the 33,000th note on my diary. As your prize, I am arranging a photo session of your unit in a cool environment to eliminate fogging.

++ [Blather Plus]

I hereby volunteer to do your cooking AND ironing with no string attached.

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did I mention you only have to walk nude through the room twice daily?

++ [Blather Plus]

RYN … yeah … maybe another picture would work. If you don’t have the ass shot … how about sticking a camera down your pants and getting me cock shot. Mind the flash!

++ [Blather Plus]

HEARTFELT ADVICE

You are in mourning, so of course it creates a sense of HUGE sadness. There are no hard and fast rules for this, for every person is different. Some can shrug off a break like this like water off a duck. Some hold on to the hurt for years and years. Find the middle ground that allows you to grieve and then get angry and then get on with things … at whatever speed you can handle.

— [Chuck]  [p]

Hard to see in the depths of despair, but better now than after the ring was given, accepted and children kept the two of you together if it wasn’t meant to be.

That old ‘door closes / window opens’ cliche is actually true … I’m pretty sure.

— [Chuck]

PMI goes away and I can show you a way to get whatever loan you wind up with paid off sooner, saving tens of thousands of dollars in interest. A house is fantastic investment, but go at it logically and methodically, like you’re doing and give yourself some time. Ask your current landlord if you can move to a month-to-month situation and buy time. My corporate job deals with mortgages.

[Chuck]  [p]

Closure, studmuffin. Look for it twice as hard.

— [Chuck]

I so feel your yearning … and since I’ve seen you without a shirt on … a picture anyway … (yes ladies, he’s foin!) … I think you should get it over with … go approach her already. Do it. I’ll be here to comfort you when she tells you she is dating the Retard now that he’s free.

++ [Blather Plus]

Just be careful not to drop your keys.

++ [Blather Plus]

CHUCK ON CHUCK

My K Spot is actually in the kitchen.

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<SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial”>.

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Which explains a lot.

++ [Blather]

Yeah. That Chuck guy. He’s so kind for a delusional coot!

— [Chuck]

Yeah. Bland sex will do that to you. I miss it.

— [Chuck]

I’m wearing some diarist boxers on my head right now and promise to wear them for a week.

++ [Blather]

Having a penis is a huge burden. I’d much rather have a large screen TV.

++ [Blather]

MORE THINLY VEILED ADVANCES

By the way … there is only one excuse for balling at the office. Me and you under my desk, baby!

++ [Queen Blather]  [p]

Send me a picture of your ass.

++ [QBJC]

RYhappychristmasN …

Then drop down my chimney naked.

If you’ll consider it, I’ll actually BUILD a chimney.

I’ll leave tuna casserole and cookies by the hearth!

++ [Queen Blather]  [p]

Marinate this.

— [Chuck]

I’m going to wait to have sex with you until after you’re married … because it will mean more to me then.

++ [Sass Squatter]

RYagentN … Will you be my agent. Just promise me … no ‘sofa’ meetings.

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wait.

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I just looked at your picture again. OK, just once.

++ [Blather Plus]

TRYING TO EMPATHIZE

You hetero’s have such an interesting set of problems.

++ [Blather Plus</A>]

I just burned my comforter in sympathy.

++ [Blather Plus]

You are the most macho fag I have ever met.

— [Chuck]

You haven’t been here in awhile, but don’t, for a moment, forget that I KNOW what day passed by. Are you officially a fag now? Details. I want the details.

++ [Blather]

Why don’t you two sissyboys just have a big old slapfest and get over it?

Oh, and take videos. I’ll host the .avi file.

— [Chuck]

NON SEQUITUR

I’ve been thinking about your goat.

— [Chuck]

Were your ears burning on Sunday? Or at least your big hands buzzing a bit?

— [Chuck]

Once a Pod, always a Pod.

— [Chuck]

You dissed Brian Boitano and are now on my official shit list.

++ [Blather Plus]

“Strip me naked, give me a bucket, and throw me in a dark room.”

I cannot begin to share the moistness of this, combined with the short IM of support this morning.

Rock on!

++ [Queen Blather]

THE BEST NOTE CHUCK EVER LEFT ME

I’ve learned a lot from you, too.

— [Chuck]