Triangle.

So I was reading random diary entries off the home page again and I came across this one guys diary [not mentioning names] but some of his entries truly inspired me. They were about loved ones and love in general and it triggered certain thoughts, beliefs and own life experiences in me.

I remember always saying to myself that the word "love" should not be tossed around and I swore to myself I would never say the words "I love you" unless I truly meant it. I truly believed this. What I didn’t realize was that infatuation, lust, and the human need to be loved can cause young minds to say those words and feel like they are in love even when they aren’t. It’s not realized until you’re older and actually know the difference between the feelings. I was always looking for someone to love me because no one really did growing up. However those feelings led me to say those words just to hear them. As I got older I would look back on all the times i said it and literally felt sick to my stomach because I felt horrible. I couldn’t believe I was misled and allowed myself to believe that those feelings were right, or okay. However since then I have truly felt the difference. I see the difference. I am more aware of this thing called Love.

Love is around us everyday. It’s in the smiles we share. The hugs we give. The flowers we smell. Childrens laughs. When we laugh, cry, and do small things for other people. Loving someone isn’t about feeling needed and filling empty holes in our hearts. It’s about the small things. Like wanting to do special things for them and wanting to keep the romance alive.

Which brings me to this point- romance. Romance is something you don’t just get. You have to work to keep it alive. The guy I am dating right now would be classified as a romantic. Me on the other hand- I love the thought of romance but actually doing it, I suck. It’s not in my comfort zone and I am not one to be all mushy, show off my partner, or even express my love publicly. It’s not within my comfort zone and I know at times it comes off as though im embarrassed of the person or don’t care but that’s not it. I show my love and romance at home, with small things. Like having dinner ready for him when he gets home. Sharing my snacks and anything else I have. Making him cute lunches for work. Writing him sweet texts/notes or even messages on the mirror for when he wakes up. Things like that. They are small gestures but to me they are my way of showing him he means the world to me. True romance is going out of your way. And I try.

I work to keep the love and romance alive between us by doing small things and going out of my comfort zone when I can. I watch love movies and listen to my boyfriend. We communicate and keep an open mnd towards eachother. That is love. When you sit up talking to the point you have nothing left to say is just the beginning. When you both can sit there in silence, with nothing to say but you’re  completely content and happy just in their presence.

This is getting long. I guess I am back. Yay for writing! =)