My Sore Ass…

So yeah, we were having a perfectly great day at the river until…you guessed it. They dared the Redneck girl in me to ask these guys for a ride on the tube in the river..yes, i went tubing in muddy river water!!! So everyone was like..you wont do it, you wont. So me not being one to back down from a dare, did it…and it was great!!! A hell of a ride, i loved it. Well when we went for that last turn, i heard my ankle go pop…yeah it hurt. But i didn’t cry..that would just be wrong. Then when i got off the tube..i realized, um somethings not quite right here. And walked as normally as possible back to my chair..to inform Sherrie that i had crapped my pants, thats another entry….and that my ankle really hurt..then she looked at my back, and wow..its all bruised. And still i was going to suck it up and go out. NO…we instead sat at the emergency room for 4 hours, in which i was poked and prodded and in pain, to be told that i didn’t break anything but that i had deep bruising and blood in my urine and a sprained ankle..they gave me drugs and sent me home…So now I am semi-confined to bed, laying on my tummy, and bored out of my mind!!! I would so do it all over again…..

Now as I am sure you would all love to here how i came to crap my pants..lets get on with it. Never ever take a laxative before going tubing..and I am sure you are all wondering why in the hell i took it in the first place, here goes. We had dinner at Bonefish the previous night and I ate so much that i couldn’t get in my jeans, so i figured, no biggie, ill just pop a couple of those lil’ pink pills and ill be back in my jeans in no time..yeah okay. Thankfully for me, nobody saw me do this…well unless you count my wonderful girl who had to rinse my brand new bathing suit bottoms out. EWWWWW …i don’t think that i have ever been quite so ashamed. Lesson learned. I will never ever take a laxative and go tubing at the same time again. Moving on….

As i am sure you all have read my previous post about stupid redneck boy, lets just begin by saying he is trying desperately to get my new number, imagine that. I don’t think so. I am quite proud, considering his best friend has it and has not given it to him. However, he tends to drunk dial Sherries phone at 3 am…wheres my girl, i want my girl…Hey LOSER..call your wife!!!!  That is so done and i came out of it with minimal damage to my heart..yay for Princess. Sherrie and I have actually met a quite nice redneck boy with stunning hair and eyes at the river. His name is TJ and he drives a hearse and has the cutest dogs ever…Yes he drives a hearse and not for a living!!! The only thing that would be better is if the hearse was hot pink with skulls and stars on it….Yeah, that would be hot. And whats even better is my girl approved him. Its hard to get the girlfriend approval on guys, so if she likes him..he must be okay, she has great ability to judge people.

Okay so that was my Bi-Weekly update..Ill be leaving notes and checking in on all of you here in just a few minutes..and over the next couple of days, since i obviously cant get my now swollen and bruised ass into my clothes i shall not be leaving the house to go and party..Well maybe Tuesday night, Boobs McGee is doing karaoke and she is concerned that Sherrie and I have not been seen in a couple of weeks…guess ill have to take my pillow and put it on my barstool…LMAO. I crack myself up!!!!