winter blues

I don’t know what to say anymore. It used to be so easy to write about my feelings but now it’s just hard. I have been reading a lot of people’s entries in here and I have been touched so much. It’s like every entry I read I’m there with them. The relationship ones, the death ones, the best friend ones, the loneliness ones. It’s like I can be a million different people at once just not myself.

Since I have been in this realtionship (of two years) its really made me a better person. I gained alot of responsibilty and confidence but it sometimes worries me that I somehow lost a big part of myself. Don’t get my wrong that a relationship can destroy you because it is you who makes the relationship work as well as your other. But you change no matter what way you look at it. I just am not sure if my change has been good or bad. It just seems like I am stuck in the middle somewhere like I always have been. There is just so much I want to do and well life has slowed me down. I am not controlled by anyone and I can do anyhting I want but rent and bills have tied me down and its just so hard to find time to really enjoy life. Going to sleep at night and waking up in 8 hours is not relaxing to me. I need a vacation somewhere different and nice. Hawaii.

I cant write Ill write when I am not so numb.

bYe

I’ve noticed others talking about losing part of themselves in relationships, too, but I think it’s more of the fact that U grow and change with the other person, and U gain so much new that the old is sometimes forgotten

Yes, you do change when in a relationship – but you don’t lose who you are – you just become part of a team and you think and function as a team. You haven’t lost anything – you’ve gained. Hugs,