I do… for now. (Part 1)

So, I’ve noticed lately something about today’s youth—including myself. We rush into anything and everything with arms wide open. We expect the best. We get the worst. We are crushed for that.

What I mean is relationships.  Lots of people seem to think life is a movie. They think bells will sound off when they make a certain look. They think things will always end up in true love and marriage. This is just simply not the case. I myself have been engaged before, and it’s not pretty. Nobody these days, at our age, knows what true love is. Why? TV, Movies, Etc warp our minds. Thinking that you can make any relationship work.  If you sleep with your boyfriend’ bro, things won’t be the same. Just apologizing and having a certain look in your eye doesn’t do jack shit.  The relationship is over. Move on.

And that’s another thing.  All the girls I’ve ever gone out with, I was like their first boyfriend, and each one thought I was “The One!”

Bullshit. 

Each one, I act the same to. I am who I am. I open doors. I’m cuddly, I’m nice. I compliment, bite my tongue when I should, it’s just me. I pay for meals, help out emotionally, financially if I can afford it, and they absolutely need it. I don’t pay for their habits, like cigarettes, unless they pay me back soon. But each one Cheated on me.  And each time, I fell for the “Clean Slate” idea. Why? Not because I didn’t see it, but you’ll find out why later. 

“I know you’re sorry, I forgive you. Lets just start fresh!”

Bullshit.

Not even a week later the paranoia sets in. “Oh shit, she should have been home 15 minutes ago. …what’s she doing?” I don’t WANT these thoughts, ya know it’s nothing. But ya still get them. And it bothersome.  Often, I’d realize soon after that there was no hope.  But she wouldn’t.  It’s easy for the one at fault to forgive and forget what he/she did. But trust me, the pain lingers to the one that was hurt. The girls would cling on, and I’d let them.

Now, I’ve had many friends who have failed engagements, divorces. Friends who have divorced parents, or parents currently going THROUGH a divorce. And It’s hell.  To the kids. To the Parents.  To the families, and even to their friends, everyone. Especially themselves.  Breakups, divorce and child custody shit. It’s not fun. 

(To be continued)

– James
AIM/MSN: Ziktick(@hotmail.com for MSN users) feel free to contact me.
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