The edges of love

I watch from the edges, unseen, unheard,

Tracing love in the air like a whispered word.

Hands entwined, a fleeting glance,

A world of touch I’ll never chance.

I tell myself it’s safer here,

Where longing stays but love keeps clear

Where walls are high, where silence sings

Where I am spared the breaking things

But oh, to be chosen, to be held so near,

To hush the doubt, to quiet fear.

To rest my head where warmth remains,

To speak my name without refrain.

Yet love is not for me,

A ghost of sorts, I cannot see.

I watch, I linger, then turn away

And dream of love another day.

I am a collection of contradictions. I’m thoughtful but distant. I’m longing but untouchable. So I watch and observe love from the edges where it’s safe. It cannot hurt me like its done before and I tell myself it’s enough. Many nights have gone and many nights will come feeling the weight of my own loneliness pressing against my ribs. I am a warrior in an endless fight with a sword pierced through my heart, yet, never succumbing to the relief of death.