Co-Existing.

The temp was 17 degrees when I got up this morning. Now, it is a balmy 38 degrees here in the Midwest. The sun has been shining all day and melting some snow we’ve had. I am happy to see the sunshine as it always lifts my mood. We had an ice storm across much of my state. My town had rain which was good. A snowstorm followed with a few inches of snow, 6 I think. Now, an arctic freeze. And this is January. The days get longer past the Winter Solstice on December 21. I haven’t been able to tell the difference until today for whatever reason. The darkest days are gone.

I notice what goes on in nature and how it affects me. Last night, there was a full Wolf Moon. Each moon in every month has a name. If you follow astrology in any way, it was a full Wolf Moon in Cancer. Cancer is an emotional sign. I can say this moon affected me. Yesterday, I was alternating between laughing and crying.

I used to live in the woods. I kept a blog about it called “Visages From The Wood.” Now and then, I will add to my journal, this “Visages From The Wood,” but only after visiting some woodland area, park, etc., on a walk or hike. The writing isn’t the same it seems, not as thrilling to report in as it used to be. Now, I lived in town and I’m not entirely happy with it. There is a lot about nature that is absent from me now, like birds that light on the porch, wildflowers growing in the yard, nearby rocks and boulders to sit or climb on, paths to trudge down, the sounds of frogs in my pond, the variety of woodland creatures I would see daily. Here, I can see trees growing around the place, crows and other birds, but at a distance. In the very early morning before the neighbors wake and head out to work, I can, sometimes, hear an owl hooting in the distance. I’ve been able to hear the caws of crows, bluejays, cardinals, a wren here and there, and some other bird calls I don’t recognize. I’ve seen the leaves bud on the trees in Spring, from a distance. The leaves fill the trees in Summer and mask the sounds of traffic, sirens, train sounds, ‘town noise.’ I find it more relaxing then. I have seen leaves bud on trees in Spring, fill the trees in Summer which mask the noise,  fall in Autumn, and watched the snowfall in Winter, the empty tree branches catching it. This has been my urban experience. In no way does it measure up to what I used to have which leaves me feeling a bit empty. Should I mention the noise from neighbors? I’ve been looking for another more rural area to live since I moved here three years ago. I haven’t found this place. When I hear the caw of a crow flying by, I wonder how it can exist with the noise of the town and especially the trains that go by. I am very close to railroad tracks. I don’t see them fly away when a train passes, as loud as it is. I’ve had to learn to co-exist with it too.

I realize I have to physically leave the area to be closer to nature. I have to travel to somewhere else, to the lake, to a National Park, or just some random spot in the mountains, a feat others have no difficulty achieving. It use to be so easy to just walk outside and there I was in the midst of all of it. I never took it for granted. It kept me sane. It is great therapy. I don’t remember the last time my bare feet touched grass. It’s called earthing I think.

For now, I’ll appreciate the sunshine, the snow that fell, longer days, viewing the full Wolf Moon on another cold and clear night, and watching the birds there in the trees, and learn more about co-existing.