Sick

I’ve been really depressed these last few days, to the point where the lines are blurred between whether or not I’m sick.

I know anxiety and depression can physically effect you so I don’t know if I’m literally just sick. Or am I just in the usual “given up” mood.

Today has been hard. I finally have a day off and all the kids are scattered to the winds and aren’t around. I guess that’s what kills me the most about this divorced life. Where once I had unlimited access now I compete with others, just like I had to with my ex. Other people have taken my kids interests and time and I have to constantly take a back seat.

All the time and living I’ve lost of their lives. All the growing I missed out on.

This Christmas season sucked and I don’t know how I’ve made it through. I am almost embarrassed that I have.