This Year

I realize this year isn’t over just yet and today is Christmas, however today got me thinking about the whole year up until this point. My reason for that is, well so much about this year has been so different. I did not think it was possible to be in this place again.

What I mean by that is, I think for a while I was just kind of here but not actually living. I’m not going to say that it’s been and easy ride because there have been some bumps in the road but I mean I think that’s all apart of living. Those bumps in the road teach us something right?

This year has been filled with so many things that have taught me so much. It’s crazy because I got into a pretty bad fight with my mom the beginning of this year and I took time away from bothering with her and because of that we have a way better relationship now. It was a rough fight but in the end it caused us to have a conversation that really needed to take place. I may not always agree with everything she says or does but now we are able to talk about those things and it be a good conversation.

I started working on things about my self this year as well, like not letting everything get to me and for the most part I’d like to say I’ve done pretty good. I mean I am still human and still need reminded from time to time to just breathe.

I’m not willing to just tolerate things anymore and stand by while people do things I do not like. I have no problem saying exactly what I’m thinking, even if it’s the wrong timing.

I think a big part of my change this year is because of my best friend. I had no intention of getting close to anyone anymore. I have a few friends I’m close with but I wasn’t willing to let anyone else in. Then I met my best friend the end of last year and she has become everything to me along with both of her daughters. She has been a huge influence but in the best way possible.

Over all this year I think  I have come the furthest in so many ways. I like to think that this year I’ve learned so much about my self and how to deal with things better. I’ve been able to speak my mind and put an end to things that only bring stress and problems to my life.

I stopped feeling bad for things that I didn’t cause and I learned that its okay not to fix everyone else’s problems. My little family has to come first and its okay that I put them first it doesn’t make me a bad person.

Over all since I started rambling on, the whole point of this post is that this year was something completely different and I’m proud of where I’m at right now. Its not always an easy ride but I’m doing it and not just because I have to but because I want to again.