Comparison is the thief of joy!

Don’t know how I ended up here but it’s extremely fitting. I need need need to stop thinking so much! After years of on-off journaling, note-taking, and autistic breakdowns (the joys of being on the spectrum lol) I am here. From the age of learning to write to whatever manmade hell-scape adulthood is, I end up here. Why not. Seems like a nice enough place. Note to self. Be more independent. Be less judgemental. Be normal. Comparison is the thief of joy. Recall bias is next in line for the throne.

Rambling. Can I stop romanticizing a life I didn’t have? I find that often when you think back on the good memories a tint surrounds them. Like the old instagram filter of 2014, I see something beautiful in everything. There truly is beauty in everything, but god forbid I walk my dog one day and start thinking the piles of shit he lays behind are some form of art. Sometimes shit can be mid! Not everything is art and not every bad memory has to be the kind of end all be all I make it. Is that how you say that? Yeah. I have little faith in myself, don’t know why.

There is a simplicity that comes about when you start thinking of times before you were conscious. Childhood. Running around barefoot in the grass. Screaming because the ice cream man is here. Screaming because the ice cream man is driving away and you still haven’t ordered your sour warheads popsicle. My goal is to romanticize life the way I used to. Because then…. (time skip) Okay lost my train of thought. Getting drunk soon with friends and they’re almost here. Merry Christmas stranger, keep ya chin up queen. YOUR CROWN IS SLIPPING! Oh and also the girl I’m kind of in love with was supposed to come over tonight but ended up ditching plans and this entire short vent is about a high school reunion I attended and now I’m down on my luck because WHY WHY WHY AM I IN LOVE WITH ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARGHHGHH?!?!? WHAT THE HELL MAN! Anyways yeah, I’m 22, nothing matters. Whole life ahead of me and what not. I live in a constant state of chaos. Have a great day.