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I know people like me, but I don’t think anyone actually really cares about me. My friends are wrapped up in their own lives and my husband I’m pretty sure is sick of me. I have my daughter but my husband reminds me sometimes that i have to keep her at an arms distance since he doesn’t want me being “friends” with her since I’m her mother.
I work from home.. alone. My husband works 9 pm to 5 am so he is sleeping during the day in the room i work in (my work computer is in our bedroom its the only place in our apartment i can put it) So I have to work in the dark with just the light of my computer. I also have to be very quiet so I don’t wake him up. It gets depressing at times, especially in the summer when its bright and sunny and I’m stuck working in a dark quiet room. Sometimes i prop the curtain open a little and let a few rays of sun shine in.
I have been having a rough 24 hours dealing with depression and the feeling of being underappreciated. My husband says he does appreciate me but he isn’t the kind of guy to show it. He says he isn’t good at that kind of thing. Its something I have learned to accept over the last 16 years we have been together which is why I sort of lean into my friends for that kind of thing.
I feel like I work really hard, i work hard at being a good friend and a good wife and mother and i know its a thankless job and that’s just how it is but dang i really could use a pick me up. Even just a morsel of someone going out of their way for me just the briefest sliver of appreciation. Its crazy to imagine some people have husbands that go out of their way to make their partner happy, or have friends that would do anything for them.
I feel lost most of the time and without anyone to talk to as i have no family either. Its hard not to feel alone but as my husband always says “theres always someone who has it worse”. He’s right though, here i am having a pity party and there’s people who don’t have homes or are terminally ill. I used to hate when he said that because it always felt so invalidating to my struggles or what i was going through but in the big picture I really dont matter. One useless lonely and depressed soul isn’t going to send the world out of skew.
You’re not having a “pity party” because you have these feelings. They are valid, and you should not be shamed for having them. We all have them, including me. This is why I have cultivated strong, supportive relationships with my family and friends for all these years, and have gone out of my way to be there for them, and, for the most part, they have been (and will continue to be) there for me.
@ravdiablo i feel like ive spent too much time trying to go out of my way for my friends, they never reciprocate and its been tough for me trying to get myself to realize it and stop my behavior and desperation trying to find someone who will be a good friend to me like i am to them.
@starrymind I’ve had this problem as well – and somebody told me I should ask more of my friends, and they will reciprocate. When I was having my eye surgery, I reluctantly asked a friend to pick me up afterwards. Not only did he do that, but he drove me to and from the follow-up the next day. People will surprise you, when you ask something of them.
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