My Dog is Skeptical

Is he even my dog? Poor guy. Here’s the good news, he loves D. When D comes home the dog is a totally different dog. Happy, tail wagging, sit, stay, catches treats. He even manages to wag his tail at me — if D is standing next to me… The dog looks at me and sees Jeffrey Dahmer. Some days are better than others. Strangely at night, in bed he’ll lay close enough to let me pet him. But during the day he keeps his distance. He’s been skeptical of me since day one. Sometimes he’s a bit warmer. Sometimes a bit cooler. I pushed too hard to put his leash on yesterday and he hasn’t forgiven me. It feels like a huge step backwards. He won’t make eye contact since the great leash incident. Fortunately we have a yard, a good size yard for being in the middle of Los Angeles that he can go out in, so until he trusts me, I won’t be trying to put a leash on him.

This may sound impossible but German is easier than Spanish. Maybe for English speakers. I’ve been on Duolingo for 5 years – first studying Spanish – which I spoke pretty well as a child when we lived in Colombia from 77 to 79. Then about a year and a half ago my Swiss friend insisted I start studying German. Not even his wife speaks German. His daughters do. Anyhow, I learned German in college and lived in Berlin from 92 to 93. In one year I’ve caught up to the same level in German that it took me four years to get to in Spanish. It’s true that the gender of nouns is easier to determine in Spanish – usually with an “o” or “a” at the end than in German where the gender of the nouns is somewhat irregular. However, the subjunctive case in Spanish is a riddle upon an enigma – at least to my brain. The whole reason for the language studies came about during the first fuck-face administration. I wasn’t sure if I’d have to leave the country on account of the gehy. Dramatic but we all remember how Mike Pence felt about the gehy. Then I read that if you study/practice a foreign language, it de-ages your brain. Sort of. You can supposedly get the brain elasticity of a 35-year-old. I do feel like it’s made me sharper.

Speaking of the fuck-face administration part deux, I’ve been on a news-diet since the election and honestly it’s one of the better choices I could make. I’ll catch snippets here and there like how he wants to appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court or the Long Island Medium to run the treasury (because she can see the future). I decided my break-the-glass, leave-the-country moment would come if three conditions were met: national abortion ban, same-sex marriage revoked, and journalists/political opponents start falling out of windows. Even though German is easier, I’m not moving to Germany. For one thing, it’s nearly impossible to immigrate to Germany. For another, the AfD party, a far-right Neo-fascist group, is gaining traction in the former East. Uruguay is my plan B since I can qualify for residency there on my monthly WGA pension alone.

I’m lucky. I have a trans friend who is sure the ACA is going to be revoked and she’s going to be without hormones. Plus, she lives in Florida, so every day is a fucking nightmare for her. All in all I’m a bit more sanguine about FFA Part 2 than I was in 2016. Exhibit A: the clown car of clowns – beyond running grifts and cons, they’re not very good at executing big plans. I don’t think they’ll get their act together to pull off their worst ambitions. Exhibit B: Mid-term backlash is pretty predictable. Exhibit C: South Korea voted in a bag of shit four years ago and kicked him to the curb last night after he tried to impose martial law. When there’s economic suffering, the party in power pays. I think this is why Harris lost; I think this is why FF will be the Herbert Hoover of the 21st century.

Work sucks right now. My job usually does not suck. In fact, in the 20 years I’ve been there, it’s sucked maybe 5 times. Like periods of suckage. We’ve been in an increasingly sucky time since October. I’m dealing with some shit with a student that feels unbelievable. Some folks seriously fell down on the job and now I’m on the clean-up crew. There have been a slew of firings lately – staff members who tried other unionize being fired off. The big cheese, I’ll just leave their title at that, is not a good person. I don’t know why the worst people succeed in life but they do. We haven’t had a raise in over a year and meanwhile the top two gave themselves a million-dollar raise. Gross.