One more thing…
You can both fuck off.
Neither of you give a shit about me and I don’t know who you’re trying to bullshit.
Oh yeah, have a nice weekend.
You can both fuck off.
Neither of you give a shit about me and I don’t know who you’re trying to bullshit.
Oh yeah, have a nice weekend.
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Hi, Friend. Doing my best to send you some calm and peace. It sounds like you’re fighting in some pretty heavy battles right now. If you need an ear, I’ve got one here. I hope you have some good resources to vent and purge off those enormous chaotic feelings. If you don’t, I am super willing to help you find some that zig where you zag, you know? Or if you need a distraction, I have eight hundred and seventy six thousand four hundred and forty two and 76/32 jokes and puns to tell you… You’re bound to get a laugh from at least one, right? 🙂
Love and Respect,
Your Friend,
Odd Petunia
@odd-petunia ok, make me laugh. 😉
@kaleidoscope-eyes
Excellent. Okay, let’s begin here. NO CHEATING!
1) What do tomatoes and elephants have in common?
1A) They cannot ride bicycles.
2) What is brown and sticky?
2A) A stick.
N) What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
NA) You can’t hear a hormone.
Purple) What is the one thing you can always count on in life?
Purple A) … A calculator. Duh.
Four) I broke my finger last week… But on the other hand, I’m okay.
V) I was at the bar the other day having a gin and tonic when suddenly the waitress screamed, “Does anybody know CPR?!” And I shouted back to her, “I know the entire alphabet!” And then we all laughed and laughed. Except one person.
7-1) Where was the Constitution signed?
7-1 A) Probably at the bottom…
Please excuse my typo in # NA. It should say ‘can’ not ‘can’t.’ But it’s already broken, once you typo or have to explain a joke, it becomes, inherently, unfunny.
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