Bed

I realize it’s the depression but I’ve been just staying in bed. I have 2 days off and I wasted the whole day in bed. Somewhat forcing myself to stay in bed.

Thank God I promised to take my sone to karate or I would still be there.

I know it’s not healthy, but thinking in such a negative fatalistic way as I have lately isn’t either.

Thing is, I am just back to work. Have no money and no real life. I can’t spend anything because essentially all my money is someone else’s for at least the next few months. I can’t even get presents for the holidays..

So what else do I have to do but just lay there?

I’d love to say I can spend home time with the kids playing, but I can’t. Or time spent at a friend’s, but nope. It’s just me and my fatalistic thoughts. When is the power getting shut off? When the car going to die? How bad is the winter going to get? I just always feel fucked.