Be Careful With Who You Tether Yourself To

I don’t know where to start.
Don’t choose people to connect with too soon. Be wary always. Never get married if they aren’t willing to talk out issues.

Never have children with them either. Never tie yourself to them.

I learned this the hardest way. I married young. I gave everything to him. All he does is cheat and lie. He tells the truth with his actions. He tells me he doesn’t see the value in marriage anymore. I gave up my whole life I was building to be home and have his kids.
He still wants sex. But cheats. He wants all the domestic benefit of me here. He wants to have the chores done by someone else, he wants the dinner waiting, the home comfy, the laundry done. But never connects with me. Then posts about “real intimacy, real connection”

Why couldn’t it be me? What did I do wrong? Why can’t he choose me? Why am I here, holding onto a man who let go of me years ago.. This pain is so unreal. And I know I should leave, but 7 years is a long time to be fully dedicated, and it’s a long time to get used to a life together.
why do I still dream of him being everything he was? Why can’t I just, stop feeling. Why do I struggle to let this go? I know I need to… this is all so confusing. I know I deserve better, but why can’t he be the better?

I’m pursuing pro Ana sights. I’m barely functioning. I’m pouring into my children from an exhausted, hungry, empty cup. I’m a shell. These years have hollowed me out. They have emptied me. But yet I still try and show up for him… he can’t do the same.
I feel worthless I feel like I’m not respected. I feel sued and taken advantage of. I want to give up.

now what?
time will tell.