Knocked over by Nostalgia

Have you ever been floored by a memory that was strong that it was like you were back then and it was happening all over again??? Please tell me I’m not the only one…

Details….

I have some serious insomia right now. So I have been surfing the web all night doing google searches for any and everything. Well did you know that if you type in someone’s name in the images part their picture might even show? I started doing that just see who that I knew would show. Then her picture came up…

1981

I am 10 years old and I am already contemplating suicide. My mother and I don’t get along, I’m failing the 4th grade, my teeth stick out from thumbsucking, I’m overweight, my dad won’t stop touching me and I generally hate everything about my life. One Sunday we go to church and one of the ladies in the choir with my mom walks up to me as I am sitting in a corner, sucking my thumb trying to figure out how I could get away so I can run into traffic and die. I’ve seen her before, she is a very pretty lady that could sing so well I was jealous of her. Now she has never spoken to me before so when she starts talking to me I just knew I was in trouble.

Lynn asks me,"Hey little girl why do you suck your thumb?" I just stare blankly back at her so repeats the question.

"Hello in there? I said why do you suck your thumb?" Lynn repeats.

I never even thought about why I sucked my thumb. I was like Nike…I just did it. So I dumbly say,"I dunno."

Lyn said,"Well I want you to think about it and tell me next week before service."

Don’t you know all week I thought it about but I couldn’t come up with any type of answer? So I decided I was just going to avoid and ignore her when I saw her at church. But that was easier said than done cause when the next Sunday rolled around there was Lyn looking for me. I mean she actually was asking people had they seen me!! I was terrified that somebody might rat me out. But by this time in my life I was quite good at being invisible.

After ducking and dodging Lyn for about 25 minutes it’s time for the choir to march into the sanctuary so I figured I was safe. As I was headed to my seat somebody grabbed my arm and it was Lyn.

She smiled at me and said, "There you are! Your mom said you were around here somewhere. So did you think about what I asked you?"

I figured that if I told her no she’s get tired of me and just leave. That backfired on me big time. Instead she said that she wanted to take me out to dinner so we could talk about my thumbsucking!! And to top it off she had already asked my mom the week before if I could go with her after church.

to be continued….