Wednesday 10/2/24

7:36a.m. This place is a fucking shit show!! I had lousy care last night. I think the aides cam in once to change my briefs. So I was lying in urine and feces a half the night. Then I had weird and terrible nightmares. I was up at 4:00a.m. I peed myself and had the call light on for an hour. I screamed for help and got yelled at. Finially the aides came to get me dressed and in my wheelchair. They did a shitty job .

I slept in my wheelchair for an hour. I swear I sleep better in my chair than in bed. I call Chocolatechip after waking up. She had a bad night as well. We talk for a few minutes then she had to get busy. I slept again until breakfast. Breakfast was a another story. It consisted of toast and scrambled eggs.

Chocolatechip said I have an an enemy in this place. I think she is not too far off. What a way to start the day, fighting for basic care. But I have to do that all the time. For two cents I’d move out of here. But all nursing homes are the same as far as care goes. I’m just mad. It should not have to be like this.

10:20a.m. The aides put me in the wrong wheelchair this morning. I didn’t realize this until I asked to be hooked up to my oxygen tank. They had to get the hoyer to put me in a chair with a tank. This took time . I was almost late for the coffee social. But I made it to the Fiesta Room in time for one cup.

I’m back in my room now. I made it back in time to pee myself. I’m soaked and need changed. I will have to get in yet another fight to get basic care. This place really is a shit show.

11:06a.m. I have been screaming my fool head off for help. I’ve been drenched in urine for an hour. They keep turning off the call light then yell at me for screaming . But I don’t give a good shit. I will keep yelling. Also I will go to the Fiesta Room for lunch despite being drenched and smelling like pee. That is not my fault.

Color me paranoid but I’m beginning to think I have enemies in this place. Follansbee is a very small town. Everyone knows your business in a small town. They might of heard something about my sordid past or someone could of made up a lie about me. I never did have much luck in Follansbee. Chocolatechip says I might not be too far off in this assessment.

At least the food is good. I’m having pepperoni pizza, cucumber salad and chocolate chip cookies for lunch. Then for dinner they are serving herb basted fish, blended vegetables, garlic seasoned potatoes, a dinner roll and jello.

Surprise Surprise! The aides came before Christmas! They put me in bed cleaned me up and changed my briefs. I opted to stay in bed for the day. This was a day where it didn’t pay to get up

3:00p.m. I had to defuse after lunch. I ended up sleeping most of the afternoon I need changed again. This means another battle with the Ides. I’m so tired of this shit.

4:23p.m. I didn’t have too long a wait this this time. The aides did a goodi job. Then I talked with Chocolatechip. She went to the bank this afternoon. She had a long wait for the return trip. She said her stomach was bothering her again Chocolatechip is worried she might be getting an ulcer. I said it is probably from nerves.

While talking I read a headline from The New York Times. Israel invaded southern Lebanon seeking to destroy Hezbollah. Iran launched a second missile attack. Israel is threatening massive retaliation. A wider war in the Mid East is brewing. I said things are going to hell. Then I mentioned about the VP debate last night. I haven’t read much of the paper the last couple days I said.

Also I had yet another incontinence episode while we were talking. I took a lousy sip of water that went right through me. I said I hate drinking liquids anymore because I can’t hold it. Then I have to fight with the aides to get changed. I cannot win.

6:24p.m. Supper was late again. It was delicious and I ate it all. I think supper was the best part of this entire miserable day. I only pray that somehow tomorrow will be better.

8:13p.m. I’m feeling a bit better after reading The White House Years by Henry Kissinger. I read for an hour. I’d like to stay up and do some more reading. My goal is to finish Chapter X tonight.

9:18p.m. I’m almost finished with Chapter X I just got changed so I should be doing great. Then my mood suddenly went downhill. I feel so depressed