Telephonic Math?

Serena had called me this afternoon, which in and of itself, is not unusual.  We talk on the phone all the time.  It’s part of our normal.  As I mentioned in my last entry, sometimes we don’t even talk.  We just sort of sit there in silence and at least for me, it can be comforting just having her there on an open phone line. 

Today though, this phone call seemed weird.  It was a little off.  It made me feel as though she wasn’t necessarily dying to talk to me.  It almost felt that she was calling me, not for the conversation of it, but instead, out of pity.  This wouldn’t be the first time where I have accused her of calling me on the phone out of pity.  Using logical means and given the information I have available to me at the time, I don’t have much information at my disposal, so perhaps, I’m forced to stretch my brain a little and assume things.  Obviously, when we assume things, we always run the risk of being wrong.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m right?  Maybe I’m horribly off?  I can’t readily say.  I don’t have much information. 

So, as we start off our phone call this afternoon, Serena tells me that we have about 30 minutes to chat, give or take a few minutes in either direction.  I don’t tell her this, but in my head, I’m thinking that this should be more than enough time to engage in a conversation that we likely will not finish, but one that we can return to later.  I tend not to get into conversations that have a time limit, so it wouldn’t be unusual for this conversation to be continued later, depending on how we’re flowing. 

I’m driving as we’re talking, mind you.  Just as I’m settling in and getting comfortable, the call seemingly ends abruptly and without any indication that we were done.  We were nowhere near that estimated 30 minutes that she had anticipated when the call first started. 

The call ended at the 4:32 mark, or 25 minutes and 28 seconds shorter than I had anticipated.                                

And just like that, I am alone again, left to finish my drive by myself.  As I sat there confused and even as I write this now, I have no idea what the hell happened.  We go from a possible 30 minutes to just over four.  I continued on my way and arrived at my destination minutes later.  I have no idea what happened there, what went wrong, or what changed her plans so abruptly.     

I imagine that she’ll try to call me tomorrow, which given what happened this afternoon, will leave me in a very reluctant state as far as my motivation and willingness to answer her call or even a text message. 

I genuinely don’t know what happened there, but if I continue to think about it, this is bound to give me a headache.  I’d prefer not to have to take any Tylenol tonight, so I think I’m just going to leave it alone. 

Four minutes, 32 seconds. 

This is definitely a far cry from what could have very well could have been 30 minutes.  I guess in the future, I just need to not get my hopes up.  Apparently, her “word” means very little and I need to stop falling for it like an idiot.

I suppose I need to do better.