Sunday, September 29, 2024

I just need to stop saying that I’m going to journal at a certain time or on a certain day. Rarely does it happen when I intend to…but it usually always happens when it needs to.

So to recap…

Friday – I was slammed at work…it was a really nice, profitable day. Back to back appointments and finished before 4. I came home and started cleaning the garage. That felt really nice. I have a lot yet to do in there, I don’t have appointments tomorrow, so I think I will try to sort through the rest of everything then. I really need to have a garage sale or get stuff posted online to downsize some stuff.

Saturday – it was a pretty nice slow morning. I had my coffee and relaxed a little bit…then left for my sisters around 10 and got to work painting her bedroom, hanging up her curtains…all the things. She doesn’t like to paint and so she cleaned the whole time. My other sister showed up and helped start my nephews room. Before I left, I started my nieces room…just got one coat on and then got home around 7:30. It was a really long day. I went to bed pretty early because I was just exhausted.

Today was also a really long day. I left home around 9 to get to my sisters. I started drawing and cutting out the flower stencils for her room. I figured it would be way easier to do with making them into cardboard stencils…and had it not been HEAVY DUTY cardboard, it would have been so much easier. Hah. So it took me about an hour to get those cut out because we didn’t have a box cutter, just my craft scissors.

It took me about 4 hours to get the flowers on and painted…which was mostly zen work. My sister did homework pretty much the whole time. She isn’t afraid to tell me that she doesn’t paint and yet, she will be so super happy to tell everyone what SHE has left…when it’s been me working and painting the entire weekend on her house. As well as the design, concept, etc. I do it for my niece and nephew…and my sister.

BECAUSE I didn’t have anyone helping me growing up…and I still don’t. It’s something I realize that I really fight with myself over. I have been trying so hard to be there for everyone else because no one has ever been there for me. I went through having kids, losing most of my friends due to an ex-husband that tried to sabotage every relationship I’ve ever had…friends and family…moving multiple times with ZERO help – physically or emotionally.

All of that to say, I would never wish it on anyone…it would just be really nice to get some sort of help at some point when I need it. I’ve just had to do so much on my room…with no one to ask for help or rely on but myself. I definitely have moments where I feel super resentful…and I just need to figure out how to work through all of that. “Be the person you wish you had growing up…” that’s the quote that I just keep playing over and over in my head. I seriously wish I had someone like me in my life.

Anyway…here’s what I did in my sister’s room – it was a very warm “dirty” white before:

And here is my niece’s bedroom before and after:

Hopefully I’ll remember to write about what my daughter texted me the other day…and then said to me tonight and now won’t speak to me again.

I also picked up some of the stuff I had left still at my grandma’s, like the piano. I really want to get into classes again. I might look into that tomorrow. For now, I’m just going to try to practice for a couple hours every day like I had been doing before I moved. It’s definitely feeling a lot tighter in my room now, though, so I am guessing it’s going to need to be moved out into the living room/kitchen somewhere.

My roommate is leaving for a week so that will give me some time to go through and do things with the house. I definitely need to get my computer situation figured out. Get that here, maybe in the laundry room, the coats and everything on the rack in there need to be moved into the garage because they are taking up way too much space. I need to get my computer desk from my grandma’s and figure that set up out if I set it up at all…and then move my piano somewhere other than my room. We will see how much I get done. I have a wedding to do on Friday…and then the rest of the weekend to myself. I also wanted to start a painting now that I’ve got the “taste” again of how much painting soothes me…even if it’s not something that I wanted to really do.

I plan to sleep in tomorrow and catch up on all of it that I’ve been lacking. I have no plans outside of the house, haha.