Did Pinocchio have a sister?

I have lain awake in bed now for several nights replaying words in my head.

 

I laid there until my disgust and anger and indignant pride made me get up and fire off an email to the woman I just blocked.

 

Because I needed to know.

 

I needed to know why she kept coming back to me with this crap over and over again for all this time. What makes ME her “go to” suspect when I ain’t done shit to anyone?? When I don’t even answer her?

 

And to my surprise, she sent a reply.

 

She said she owed me a lot, because I was kind to her and gave her encouragement when she needed it. She said I helped her more than I can know. She said she owes me and will do anything she can. She said she immediately felt guilty for contacting me and selfish for not respecting my privacy. She said she likes me as a person.

 

Oh boy, there’s more…

 

She said she was sorry for all she had done and she said she had no commitment with Roger and that they had a friendship. She kept calling it a “friendship” and she added that she doesn’t ask him for any kind of intimacy or fidelity, only “honesty within our friendship” and there’s that word again.

 

She said she would have been “pist” if I had rekindled (She used that word) my relationship with Roger without involving her, because, get this, it would be “a heartwarming end to the tragedy in my life.”

 

She told me she is ” for” him ” doing the right thing by me” and that she was hurt by me “moving on” without her.

 

There is so much wrong with this and a lot to unpack here. If I didn’t know better, (which I do, and you will too if you keep reading) I would truly believe she liked me.

 

Then she said she values and expects honesty from her relationships and it is barely ever reciprocated.

 

She said that AS she was lying.

 

Contradicting herself.

 

The reason she kept coming back to me (per HER words) when she was doubting Roger’s monogamy (you know, the monogamy she waived because they are not lovers) was because he was “acting suspicious”  and like he was “communicating” with someone.

 

Ok, let’s do it. Let’s find the lies. Cuz that email was full of em.

 

First of all, you are a liar. The same liar you accuse everyone else of being.

 

Why? Well…you don’t exonerate your “friends” by giving them a hall pass, because you don’t expect sexual fidelity from “friends.” THAT’S what we call friends with benefits, or FWB, and that’s a whole lot different than a friend, lmao.

 

The other reason I knew you were lying about that is because your initial text to me read…”He’s got us not speaking again, so he can have his cake and MORE cake!”

 

Why do you care? After all, you’re a FRIEND, not the cake… Right? Because “more cake “ means cake in addition to YOU, which makes you his pineapple upside down sex bundt, not his friend.

 

Lie number 2: You contacted me because you were “worried that I wasn’t responding to your previous texts…”

 

Well, if that’s true, then why did you disappear again as soon as you got the answer about that friend of yours fucking me, with that hall pass you gave him.

 

Maybe he can’t read the fine print where I am listed as an exclusion. Kinda like clearance items are when used in conjunction with a 50 percent off coupon.

 

Lie number 3: You didn’t answer me (after YOU contacting ME) cuz you were “crazy busy with work and figured maybe you should respect my wish to be left alone.”

 

Translation: I do not need to acknowledge you or respond to you once I find out if my “friend” has been in contact with you. I have the answer to my question and no longer have a use for you. And I’m not even going to reply to the answer you gave me to the question I threw at you in the text conversation we were currently having. Instead, I will just bounce, leave you hanging, and abandon the idle fake chit chat I am so obviously using to make my reason for this conversation sound legit.

 

It was all an attempt at manipulation. It was all just lip service. I even gave her a second chance, which I will write about next just to clear my mind and I don’t even care if anybody reads it. I just feel better purging it from my head and putting it out into the universe.

 

This may be the dumbest closing I’ve ever ended a diary entry with, but it’s how I really feel.

 

I’d pay a million dollars to see her pants actually catch on fire.