Intern-al Struggle
The interns at work keep trying to talk to me. I’d sooner just keep to myself. I have nothing against them. I just prefer not to engage with people, if given the choice. I just want to stay at my cubicle, do my writing, and not be bothered. I chatted with two interns yesterday, neither by choice. I guess they just wanted to pick my brain for a little bit and since they came to my cubicle, I had no means of escape. I was stuck.
Small talk. Chit chat. Meaningless banter. Words that eventually became sentences. Call it what you will. Whatever it ended up becoming, Serena just had to know what it was we were talking about. I didn’t know I was going to be quizzed on either of those brief conversations. Regardless, she had to know. I guess she saw them at my cubicle from afar. It wasn’t as though I was trying to hide anyway. I couldn’t. I had no way out.
Interestingly, Serena entertained an intern last week and not once did I ask her about the content of their conversation. I figured if she wanted me to know, she would have told me. She never did. Not a word. So, I must not have needed to know. I left it at that.
Our ages. Being amongst a bunch of young people in that office. Being the target of so-called old jokes. Poking fun of older workers in the office. Making references to yesterday or yesteryear even, knowing only a select few would get them, but aging ourselves just the same. It was just small talk really. Hardly anything deep or thought-provoking.
The other intern has heard about me and wanted a shadowing opportunity. I guess word got around the office that I kind of know what I’m doing and it piqued at least one person’s curiosity. I told him I didn’t know what my availability was for this week, but maybe next week would be a better fit. I lied. My weeks are never that busy. I just don’t really care much for shadows or trainees. Years ago, I did. Today, definitely not. That might be fodder for a future entry, but for the time being, know that I don’t care much for interns or trainees.
I can’t seem to keep others away. I don’t have a shell I can crawl into. I guess it’s a curse that I can talk to anyone, even if I never really want to. I just want to keep to myself, but within the confines of my work place, that’s never an easy task.
The only places I can really hide are in the restroom and/or my car and I have been known to seek refuge in both.
The life of an introvert has its challenges. I take it all in stride and do the best I can.