“The Affair”
Why “The Affair“?
If I am ending my relationship I felt there was not a better fitting title for the chapter than “The Affair” because the past 20 years have been some form of dishonesty, cheating, lying, filthy smut.
The definition of the word affair is:
1. Something done or experienced; a matter or event:
2. A matter of personal concern:
3. A matter causing public scandal and controversy:
4. A social function:
5. Transactions and other matters of professional or public business:
6. Personal business: get one’s affairs in order.
7. An object or a contrivance: Their first car was a ramshackle affair.
8. A sexual relationship between two people, especially when at least one of them is married or in another committed romantic relationship.
I feel like when describing ones “marital” life as a whole the word affair can be used loosely as listed above. I also firmly feel that my relationship has revolved around affairs.
How I have seen it play out in my personal life; when one party is unhappy and feels as though their needs are not being met they leave the relationship to seek it elsewhere. We are both guilty. I have looked elsewhere, he has looked elsewhere. Both were affairs; physical and emotional. They get caught by the other. A argument ensues. A resolution, empty promises, fake apologies mend the moment. Like a bandaid. In order to save the relationship the guilty party tries again. Devotes themself to the other; fills the voids that led to the affair. But it only lasts for so long. Then the cycle repeats. The good times, the amazing sex, the connections, the intimacy only comes after the affair.
So it felt fitting and healing to call the end of a relationship by “The Affair“. Reminding me of the unhealthy cycle of love I’ve found myself lost in. Reminding me what lead to this point. Giving me motivation to write the pages and close the Chapter. I said it before; words have power.
So now my friends; or foes if you’ve found me to be the villainess, the story shall begin…