Obesity

All my friends are obese or fat or husky or big boned. Ten is built nice. I saw him yesterday with his shirt off playing football and I thought he was a bit on the skinny side but that’s because he live a very HOOD lifestyle when food comes when it comes type shit.

anyways I’m waiting for my fish sticks to be ready. I am chewing on “nilla” cookies  rn.

anyways…what is life? I hate life…but I’m tryna make it better. I wish my legs were longer. I wish someone could clean my tub and bathroom thoroughly and then run me a bubble bath and serve me a ceasar salad with some wine.

I fantasize a lot.

life sucks

im healthy and I have a job I have a place to live to call my own I have clear skin I have a new used cash car I have parents that care about me.

I should learn to be grateful . It just hit me when I listed all the things I could be grateful for. I just realized I’ll never get to the next step in life if I don’t recognize the good He has provided already.

I literally just realized.

I need to just be in solitude but I work all the time. I’ll just spend tonight alone. No phone. No computer. Turn everything off until 8:45pm. Then PUT my sleep app on. Then go to sleep. I have an hour to get ready for bed. It’s such a militant life. No freedom.

i just want to be free. Sleep in. Have enough money for Uber eats….i mean I do but I don’t want to waste money on that.

….but if I had more $$$$$$$$ – THEN I would just order food instead of eating fish sticks…but maybe deep down I’m content bc I’m kinda hopeless…or maybe I should be on my knees and truly thank God that I have something to eat!

all joking aside…one word…starts with H and end with S. That’s all I’m saying. People are suffering…WISHING…they could be in my position.

what is life…like seriously.