Hell(p)
I’m not happy. I know I have to make money so I guess I’m grateful for my job but I hate life. I am at the old lady’s house and I can’t sleep properly. I don’t like my life. Nothing about it makes me happy. I just have to stay in a state of gratitude for having the bare minimum. I honestly don’t know how to change my situation.
i stopped complaining in this app to write Jay a message. so I wrote him this:
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, Jay. I keep trying and trying and trying…putting out videos, keep putting myself out there, and nothing happens. What’s wrong with me? I need help.
I work 7 days a week and have to do so much in order to get any time off. This is not the life I want. I wonder if you ever had the same kind of road blocks as me or if you always had the connections and financial backing needed in order to become successful…
I need a music manager, an acting manager, a publicist, someone to invest in me….should I just give up since nothing has happen for me yet? I don’t want to give up my passions due to lack of resources. I don’t want to give up…
They say that if you have faith then you should have peace in knowing that it’s coming. I’ve had faith since I started this journey almost 40 years ago, and now I’m on my last little droplet of faith. This life is hard and it is uncomfortable and I often feel hopeless.
change subject: you know I still think about that director..? I think that’s what I needed to hear so I could be 100 percent all in…leave it all on the table, floor, room, stage, etc.
I just want happiness. I know exactly how happiness looks for me. I dream of it all the time.
some people are just satisfied with the simple life, and there is nothing wrong with that. A husband, a house, children…that’s the American dream.
some people are just satisfied with the simple life, and there is nothing wrong with that. A husband, a house, children…that’s the American dream.
I’m just feeling sad. Nothing is right. Everything looks bleak.