I just didn’t have the courage

My main regret from those days what that I did not have the courage to open that door. The blue monster kept its secrets from me forever. But if I had, I would probably have been a bit let down. Instead of a huge blossoming fireball that I would have to leap out of the way of, I probably would have found myself looking at a filter! Most likely that was an access panel to change the air filter. Some of the best horror movies ever made are those where the monsters, bloodshed and mayhem are never fully seen. That which is suggested, rather than explicitly shown and spelled out, can be every bit as terrifying if not more so. What I feared might lurk within the furnace, or behind the closet door was far worse than anything that was actually there. That which I did not know or understand became terrifying. Fears breed in the dark, while knowledge often dispels fear and mistrust.

But little did I know there were more monsters yet to come that were far worse than these previous ones. When I was in my mid-teens, my parents decided to move out of my childhood home to a larger house in a more rural area. I was happy to move to a new place, as my old neighborhood was getting more and more built up and industrialized. A new place where I’d have plenty of places to walk the dog and ride my bike was very appealing. So my parents chose a house, a mid seventies era split level that was larger than our previous home. We moved in that fall, right around the beginning of November. The only obviously bad thing was I had to change horses in mid stream, so to speak, with regards to schools. Coming into a new school mid-semester wasn’t so easy. But the move went well and I really liked the house and my new bedroom. Even better, my stepfather created an area just off the laundry room in the basement where I could do my artwork. I had a work table, lights and some shelves to store my supplies. But what I didn’t know at the time was that I also had a monster lurking in there with me. No pitch black corners, but as I would come to realize, not all monsters live in the dark.

*****

Days and weeks went by, and we all got settled in before the holidays arrived. I don’t remember how long we had been living in this house when it started. Probably no more than a few months, as it was still cold outside. Cold enough to have the heat turned on. One day I was sorting thru some old magazines that I had recently placed on a set of shelves in my little work area. This was in a little alcove that my father had made which was comprised of a partition and two shelving units. It was in the evening, and thus dark outside. I don’t think I had the radio or record player going, so it was more or less silent in the cellar. I had become accustomed to ignoring normal household noises, like the flushing of the upstairs toilets, running water, and the furnace coming on. As I sat looking thru a magazine, I could hear the click of the ignition as the furnace came on. But this time something was amiss. Instead of the roar of flame, the only sound I heard was an ominous hum. Very much like that of an electrical transformer or a florescent light with a failing starter. I put down the magazine I was looking at, and froze. Seconds went by as I struggled to try and figure out why the furnace was making such a weird noise. Then suddenly there was a thunderous rumble that seemed to shake the entire house. That went on for what seemed like an eternity, until finally the burner lit as usual. I leaped up from my chair and ran out of my workspace as fast as I could. But not before my nose was filled with the foul, acrid stench of burnt fuel oil that propagated out into the room along with a sooty black cloud. I came flying out into the family room and my stepfather looked at me like I had seen a ghost. I told him what had just happened, and he seemed not too concerned. It was that very night that the monster in that basement introduced itself to me. An introduction not unlike that when I first came upon the Key Bridge. Unexpected and very scary. And from then on, on and off all winter the basement monster terrorized me, making my little refuge into a place of almost constant dread. I never knew when it would suddenly spring to life with that nerve wracking hum. My stepfather would call for service ever so often, but that only worked for a little while. That rumbling, smoke belching monster would be up to its old tricks again and again, winter after winter. And I didn’t feel much safer in my bedroom upstairs, as that was right above the raging monster. Sometimes it would awaken me in the middle of the night with one of its tantrums and fill my room, and the rest of the house, with foul odor. I grew less afraid of it as I got older, but still, I always kept a wary ear out for it the whole time I lived in that house. Eventually, not long ago, it reached an age where it had to be replaced. And so there was the demise of another monster of my past.