Saturday 7/6/24

10:29a.m. Last night I had a dream where I was a crooked stockbroker. I was about to be arrested b the Feds. But I had lots of money stashed in off shore accounts. I was ready to flee to the Caymen Islands.  

Other than that I had a good night. I had nice aides who changed my briefs three times. Then I was up for good by 7:00. I had toast and scrambled eggs. I didn’t eat the eggs. I had a nice long talk with Chocolatechip on the phone. She was in good spirits today . We talked until the aide came to dress me. 

I had a nice aide this morning. She got me dressed and in my wheelchair in time for the coffee social. I made my way to the  Fiesta Room. It went well today. I wasn’t paranoid. I didn’t hear  anyone talk about me . I had a good cup of hot coffee the on made my way back to my room. 

I finished reading “The Dreamers” last night. It had a gruesome ending. It was about a mad scientist conducting dream experiments on human subjects. One subject had a terrible experience. I have one more story to go and I’ll be finished with You Like it Darker. This makes the 20th book I read this year. My goal for the year is 30.   

I’m having a good day so far.Life is good.    

1:04p.m. I went to the Fiesta Room for lunch. I saw Chocolatechip’s ex, Doug, sitting with my roommate. Oh shit, I thought. I bet Doug was giving my roommate an earful about Chocolatechip and myself. Doug would be talking to William then he would look over in my direction. I know he was talking about me.

Paranoia got the best of me. But I did my best to remain cool. I waved at Doug and he waved back. Then I went on with my business. I drank my juice and coffee. Then I ate my lunch. I opted for the substitute. I had two delicious grilled cheese sandwiches and two lemon iced cookies. I made up my mind then and there not to let Doug, or anyone else, keep me from going to the Fiesta Room for lunch or the coffee social. 

I made my way back to my room after I ate.  I called Chocolatechip. I told her about Doug. Now I know what you went through I said. I also said that is not going to stop me from going down there for lunch. I think it is good for the paranoia that I get out of my room. She agreed that isolation is not a good thing. I said in the future I’m just minding my own business.

And my business is reading my books. Chocolatechip asked if I was going to read this afternoon. I said yes. I want to finish reading You Like it Darker by Stephen Kiing. I have one more story to go I said then a long afterwards. I hope to finish that sucker today.

4:10p.m. I’ve been enjoying the afternoon by reading  “The Answer Man.” This is a very strange story about a man who sees a fortune teller . The fortune teller calls himself The Answer Man . The Answer Man is no fake. He really can predict the future. As always something strange and terrible will happen in a Stephen King story. This is a good one and the last in You Like it Darker . 

5:21p.m I’m in bed now and I didn’t have long to wait. Nice aide got me in bed, undressed me put cream on my sore butt and changed my briefs. She was the same aide I had this morning. I like her. She is friendly and always does a good job.

I’m about to have supper. They are serving spaghetti tonight along with a cup of fruit for dessert. I love spaghetti and their spaghetti isn’t bad. I’m looking forward to my meal.

7:17p.m. I finished You Like it Darker. All twelve stories were excellent.  I did give it a five star rating. I’m reading Camino Ghosts by John Grisham next. Grisham is another favorite author. I read all of his books. I’m not sure what the latest is about . Based on his other works I bet it is a legal thriller. I always wished I could of been a lawyer so this is right up my alley.

8:29p.m. My mood suddenly took a nose dive. Except for lunchtime I was doing just fine all day. Then, all of a sudden I got very depressed. I feel so sad and lonesome right now .I don’t understand how this could happen so quickly or why. I wish to hell I had someone to talk with. I called Chocolatechip but she had long since gone to bed.

Well I was lying in urine for a couple of hours. That would make anyone depressed. But the aide finially answered the call light and changed my broefs. That should of cheered me up some. But then what really caused the sudden sadness was my thinking. After finishing my book I started thinking about how I never amounted to a hill of beans. I started also to think about how I’m ostrized from my family. These thoughts were what made me so depressed.

This is what happens when my mind is not occupied by a good book. I start dwelling and ruminating about my past. I need to change my thinking real quick. The only way I know is to get lost in a good book. Thank God for my Kindle and my books. I’d be screwed without them.

 

 

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July 6, 2024

Twenty books in 6 months!?! That’s fantastic (and 4x more than I’ve read this year haha!) I’ll bet you hit 40+ books by end of year.

July 6, 2024

@elkay hi I love to read. Good part about being in a nursing home is I have all the time in the world to read

July 7, 2024

You know, Bear, it’s never too late, according to Bertolt Brecht:

Everything Changes
Everything changes. You can make
A fresh start with your final breath.
But what has happened has happened. And the water
You once poured into the wine cannot be
Drained off again.

What has happened has happened. The water
You once poured into the wine cannot be
Drained off again, but
Everything changes. You can make
A fresh start with your final breath.

July 7, 2024

@ravdiablo  Thank you Tav I greatly appreciate your concern. I’m feeling much better