Murder suspects

There was a recent murder in my neighborhood and its occurrence had appeared on Law & Order today. Right after I watched it, a 48 hours story came on. It has 1.3 million views…it was about a producer that was murdered by an unknown suspect. It made me immediately think of Dejuan. I wrote about him recently. He used to live in my building and he always had a crush on me. He knows I don’t like him so he always been slightly salty towards me.
He scares me. One time I gave him my computer monitor because I was afraid he was going to break into my apartment for it. Recently his dad died and he knocked on my door and spoke to me about it. I just unblocked him because my mom taught me to never block your enemies… so I followed her direction. I don’t trust this guy.. he’s not right in the head. One time I had a headache and he tried to give me some weird pill for it…I just don’t trust him…and I know if I make it-he’s going to try to reach out to me and ask me for money.
I am trying to think of any other enemies I have. Maybe ex boyfriends. Mike is weirdo. He went to jail…and when he got out I gave him my jaguar just so he would leave me alone. It seems like if you give them something of value then they go away. Just like the neighbor who used to always try to flirt with me. Once I gave him $50 worth of weed, he quit trying to ask me out.

why are men built so different these days? They are no longer leaders and they give off feminine energy. I miss the days when men wanted to work for their families… nowadays, there are so many single mothers.

i once dated a total loser. He had one child but never took care of her financially.. his mom did. And he also lived with his mom in a two bedroom apartment. I only dated him because he was cute and we shared a passion for music. But, he turned on me over time and always made fun of my songs and would call me a slut for wanting to work on music with producers.

those are the only enemies i can think of.

from now on I will always pray for my protection. I also will be careful around people. For the longest time, I’d say 8 years….i always felt like God is shielding me from someone who’s filled with jealousy. I try not to be so pleading with God for my career because I know He’s protecting me from someone or something…

i just have to remember: don’t go alone places. Don’t go alone to my car at night around my apartment complex. Dont ever be alone with any producer or engineer that seems off. And dont trust any bitches..male or female.

it’s getting late…I have to be somewhere in 9 hours. Busy day… beauty supply store, nails, massage, hair, and facial…it’s all about the glow up for tomorrow. Shervin is going to have a fit when he sees the charges coming through tomorrow. I’m keeping track…I own him about 4k so far…

i packed my bags and I’m almost ready for LA. I just need to rehearse more on my own. I should be done with everything and at my parents house by 8pm.

since my mom birthed me, I wonder if she’s going to notice any changes to my face. She always tells it like it is. Thankful for that…

Dear Father, please help me get 8 hours of rest. Please also forgive all my sins. Guide my life and bring me closer to you. Amen