Car Trouble

The mechanic is on his way to fix my car. This is the 4th time in one week that a mechanic has looked at my car. These hoes man. They just take my money and go.

i would go to a regular mechanic shop…and probably should have gone the first time but I don’t have the money to be spending 600 dollars or so on my car right now. So far I spent 120 for coolant, 50 to repair a hose, 80 for spark plugs. So now with this next guy…his name is Joie…we shall see..so far he’s cost me $70 to come out/travel fee.

I’m noticing my expenses are becoming unbearable. Im glad I start work soon. I get $200 bucks in a week or so.

—-12 hours later——

Turns out, the mechanic stole money from me. He came out to check the car and said it was one thing. He told me would come back in two hours to get the part. He called 7 hours later and said he was gonna come the next day. I called my dad & he called the mechanic, and the mechanic came back angrily an hour later.

as soon as he took the car for a spin & then told me to test drive it..it overheated again. I was only a block away when he drove off with my money and didn’t care that I was stranded. He said he would come back in the morning but it’s going to cost more money.

I really do hate humans sometimes. When I was stranded I was begging people to call my dad. I’d give them pieces of paper asking for help and instructing them to call my dad… they’d drive off, or ignore me, tell me to “get the fuck away from their car”…people were cruel to me earlier.

then two different black women saw me…one circled back around with a Gatorade because I was in the heat. Another lady stayed with me until my car cooled down and later followed me until I drove my car home.

i been praying alllllllll day to God. Praying with the pastor, with my mom, with my friend, even with Shervy. Then I prayed even more when I was alone. I prayed on my knees, in the bathtub, in bed, walking outside…I just kept praying.

my face is not healed all the way. You can kind of see the stress on my face. It’s 11:44pm…so it will be midnight. I’m just going to get my rest as much as possible in order to get restoration.

I feel completely wiped out. I haven’t combed my hair. I look bad.

I started running water in the tub. I hope I sleep well tonight so I can heal properly. I see my face an and I hope it will all turn out ok. I just need to wear my face strap as much as possible and keep a sheet mask on too to stay hydrated. Tonight I took a quick dip in the tub (probably for the 6th time today…I always take a warm bath when I feel anxiety…it’s like a smoking alternative).

im in bed..it’s passed midnight. I took my sleeping pill and I’m going to bed with my face strap on..the things I do for beauty. lol

if I had a husband, I don’t think I would feel this great because I generally love being in my own. I keep telling myself that I’m never lonely or feel alone because I love my own company better than anyone else.

besides, I don’t like when people stare at me or ask me a thousand questions or want to sleep in my bed with their high temp warm bodies… I like cool sheets, peace and quietness. Good luck to me… I definitely wanted someone to love and the care of me when I get old. I’m soooooooo upset.

I need miss Cornelia . I miss her. She was my opera coach… WHERE IS MISS CORNELIA… in heaven with her husband but I need her so much. She listened to me. I love her so much. I need her.

i want to be happy so bad but I don’t know … is being overall happy mean getting excited over a burger? Getting to sit on a swing? Seeing a bird walk near the street?.. those moments made me happy … I guess I want the big things to be happy about: a house, a new car, paying for my parents, things I feel like I should do/have now.

FATHER HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME IN JESUS NAME.