7/14/07

Last Monday I met up with Jeff at Duffy’s Pub and we hung out for a bit alone, which we don’t get to do very often. He’s painting his truck black and red, which are the colors of my hair right now. I think that’s pretty awesome. He has to travel for work every once in awhile (he’s a mechanic who works on generators) and he had to go do a job out of town last Tuesday. He invited me and I jumped at the chance to spend time with him, even though I had to work graveyard shift Monday and Tuesday nights.

I knew I was going to be in rough shape but I figured it was worth it anyways, so he picked me up at 8am and off we went. It was a fun, short little trip, even though by the time I got home I’d been awake for 27 hrs straight. Thank god for Monster energy drinks, that’s the only way I managed to survive the day.

We were planning a big camping trip with all our friends at the end of the month, but he decided he wants to go see one of his good friends in some place called ‘Weimer’, some little tiny hick town I guess. I’ve never heard of the place anyways. He invited me to go along, and of course I’d definately be up for it. He was saying we could stay in a hotel and stuff.

We’re not together, but we like each other and all that jazz, and he told Brent he likes me but wants to take things slowly and see how things go. That’s soooo hard for me to do, since I like to know where I stand. I tend to jump headfirst becuz when I like someone I want to be with them. I know what I want and I go for it, I don’t think about tomorrow. When I don’t know where I stand, it makes me feel insecure. I know I should just enjoy the experience and not worry about where things are going, but I can’t help it. I’m a Virgo, worrying is one of the things I do best.

Anyways I haven’t seen him since Tuesday afternoon after he dropped me off at home, and now it’s Saturday. I text msg’d him a couple times, but got no real reply. He answered my first message but not the second. Brent said he was going to Vancouver this weekend, so thankfully I’m working graveyards for the next 4 nights and I can try to keep myself occupied. Still, it’s hard to keep myself from thinking about him. Before he was messaging me all the time, but now it’s like I have to msg him all the time. He used to msg me to say good morning when he woke up and stuff. Now he doesn’t do that.

I’m guessing that he’s just trying to be casual and not rush things, but still…doesn’t really help me and my insecurities. I don’t understand why two ppl who like each other and enjoy each others company can’t take that next step and start working towards something rather than wasting time.

Other than that situtation that’s going on, things are going ok. Not really getting enough hours at work, but I applied for a full time job at the seniors place. The only problem is that its a float position so I’d have to do some morning shifts which I don’t think I’m really up for. But oh well. I guess I could just get over it and take the job. At least I’d be making some real money.

One of my Betta’s (siamese fighting fish) has popeye and it looks terrible. I feel like a shit becuz I let his water get too dirty cuz I was never home, and now his eye is buggin out of his head. I’ve been putting antibiotics in his tank but all it’s doing is making the water look like crap and it doesn’t seem to be helping him at all.

I paid off my credit card so now I’m almost debt free, I just owe my mom $7700 from when she bought me my car, and then I can start saving to move out again. I can’t wait, I need my space again. Although I will miss the comfort and security of living at home.

Anyways that’s about all that’s going on in my life right now. Mostly just keeping busy but still feeling crappy about the Jeff situation. I’m sure I’m probably stressing over nothing as usual. Oh well.