3/10/07

Everytime I think about it I burst into tears.
 
His past has come back to haunt him, and his past haunts me too..his history is also mine to deal with.
 
Last night after I found out what happened, we went for a drive. We ended up going to the viewpoint, where I bawled my eyes out. It was a beautiful view, and it was so awesome to be there with him. If only our circumstances weren’t so sad.
 
Of course I’m gonna wait for him, no matter how long he has to be gone for. I don’t know how I could possibly survive, but I suppose that’s what I’ve been doing all these years. Surviving. My life is usually messed up, and if things are going right it doesn’t last for long. I can never shake that dark cloud for long.
 
I had my first day of work at the jail today. I lasted a whole two hrs before I  decided I couldn’t do it. Too many thoughts going on in my head. Every guy I saw made me think of Chris being stuck in a horrible place like that. I couldn’t take it. I can’t deal with stuff right now I’m a frickin disasterpiece. (slipknot m/)
 
I’m supposed to be a strong person….I just don’t know how I’m gonna deal with this situation.
 
I can’t stand the thought of having to let him go.
 
I am so screwed in the head right now.

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March 10, 2007

“I am so screwed in the head right now.” You said it, sister. — Mark

March 10, 2007

im sorry girly! *hugs* how long will he be gone? u know my old roomie is married to her man who was in jail for 8 years. she waited/not.. i will explain more if u like