The Last Two Years of My Life – A Summary of Hell
December 2003 – Going out with Sean, the second time I fell in love. I was in the process of moving when I met him, but I stayed here because I met him and didn’t want to leave him. We got matching tattoos, I loved him to pieces. At Christmas, he cheated on me, and left me two days after xmas saying he needed time alone. And we worked together, so I had to see him everyday while he pretended to ignore me, and told everyone he worked with that he cheated on me and put me down behind my back.
February 2004 – Dave. Totally into the guy. We became physical but I ended up with feelings for him that he didn’t reciprocate. Got myself way too hurt. That nonsense carried on for a couple months before I couldn’t take my feelings being hurt anymore.
August 2004 – Troy. Seemed really cool. Didn’t want a relationship with me. Got me pregnant. I had an abortion..one of the worst experiences of my life.
October 2004 – Kevin. My friend who I’ve been in love with since we were 16, and we’ve been this way for 10 years now. Finally told him how I felt. Can’t be with him since we live in different cities. But we hooked up and it made things worse since I have such overwhelming feelings for him and can’t act on them the way I want to. He’s the one person I should be with and can’t.
November 2004 – February 2006 – Aidan. The love of my life. Hellish relationship. Loved him to pieces but he always talked to girls on the internet, hitting on them and telling them how hot they were. Going behind my back about it constantly. After our hellish breakup, I still lived with him for a month because I didn’t want to abandon him with all the bills. He talked to this slutty girl and she was showing him naked pics of herself, right in front of me. One of the cruelest things anyones ever done to me.
March 2006 – Mike. Liked him, seemed like he liked me. But after 3 days of hanging out, he disappeared and went back to his ex, saying he still loved her and didn’t want to hurt me but he was going back to her.
October 2006 – Caelin. To painful to write about again.
And this is just the last two years of my life. There is plenty of shit that comes before it that I just don’t want to write about. The last two years have been just awful. Actually my whole life has been just awful and I wish I could have been born as someone else.
I can understand completely. I have had the same problem my whole life. I always picked the wrong ones to get involved with. In time though the one that will be true to you will come. It may be a long time or a short time. Just don’t give up.
Warning Comment
The fact that you love so intensely is what will help you sweetie. Soon you will find the guy that will feel and crave that feeling from you and only you. Have hope sweetheart!
Warning Comment
I know this feeling well…
Warning Comment
Oh and by the way…tag you are it!
Warning Comment
I can surely say i understand it deeply too. You know, you gotta wait until you find the “one”… but damn it hurts so bad the way through! Update soon, i miss your entries. Don’t give up!
Warning Comment
These reports in this entry alone assure me that you should be in therapy as the result of the things alluded to in the last paragraph in this entry. You continue to select these guys because of traits they have which would send better-adjusted women reeling and heading for the exits immediately. A good therapist will school you in how to resist with all
Warning Comment
…your might when you are confronted by a man to whom you are totally attracted. Those are the wrong guys !!!! And it is your (um, “altered”) instincts which sniff them out and then fall head-over-heels for them. You’re a stunner & can clearly have your pick of thousands of guys, but a form of “settling” is the most certain way to thrive socially
Warning Comment
Now, in the form of a test, I am going to read back further in your diary and see if you report early experiences which match up perfectly with what my mind would expect of a beautiful woman who reports standing for this kind of repeated mistreatment at the hands of men. Guess what. Beautiful women simply do not have to put up with that stuff!!
Warning Comment
Excuse me, I don’t need therapy. I’m a strong person, I just have bad luck. I already know I end up attracted to all the wrong ppl, and I’ve been trying to stay away from that type of guy. And I do NOT settle. Hence why I’ve been single most of my life.
Warning Comment