My Heart (Pierced By Pain)

I wonder why I still have you in my dreams

I’ve never had anyone so stuck in the back of my mind

It makes me sick

I said goodbye two months ago

And you were already moving on without me

How could I possibly have any feelings left?

But when I think of you, my heart still hurts

The thought of you with someone else is always on my mind

We were different..I’m quiet and like to relax at home

Yet you were always on the go

We were always at odds and each others throats

We fought like tigers, and I was the worst..I was vicious

But it was only to protect my fragile heart

If I don’t protect it, it gets hurt much too easy

Even through all the fighting, the thought of saying goodbye tore me up

It was the hardest decision to make

All I wanted was your honesty and your love

But I was given neither

Instead I was left because it was easier to run away

Rather than staying to work through the pain

And now, here I am, 3 months after we broke up

You and your new whore have already fucked, I’m sure of it

And my lips haven’t even grazed another

It was too hard to even try

My only release is to hurt myself

Push another piece of metal through my skin

And push you out as the needle goes in

The tear slips from my eye, and I close them hard

Hands shaking, body quivering slightly

I exhale you as I breathe

I want to say goodbye to you as the pain rips through me

And as my skin throbs, my heart aches just a little, for things left unsaid

I hope that you will leave my thoughts and leave my heart alone

I wish you had meant nothing

Even wish I’d never seen your face

Your eyes will always haunt me

You are the love I should have had forever

But I lost it and it died

Goodbye

This is all I have left

This shiny gem on my lip

To remind me of my pain

Goodbye

Let me move on, I want to be free of you

Maybe in writing these words I will be able to forget

Goodbye

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June 18, 2006

aww *hugs* I know how you feel! I morned the break-up of my and my EX Brandon for about 4 months before Matt came along. And those 4 months felt like forever! he did’nt talk to me, Did want to try and work things out he was just being a total dick for not apparent reason it seemed to me. Matt was my shoulder to cry on he was there to talk to about Brandon when we were in college together.

June 18, 2006

But anyway I just wanted to forget him all the together like he seemed to forget about me by not returning my phone or refusing to talk to me and such! I feel your pain! I am sorry hat your hurting. I wish there was something I could do to help. But T/C ok! Try going shopping that always helped me 😉 T/C Much love, erin <3 *hugs

June 18, 2006

BTW Do you have another dairy on this site? that ghost pic one was gave me the creeps! And I also notice that above the figure look lik a china doll face! Creappy! I always wanted to see a real ghost thou up close. But one that won’t hurt me and one that isn’t scary looking!