February 15, 2006

A Jealousy Issue

Jealousy is killing me. Jealousy is killing my relationship with my boyfriend.

And yet, sometimes I’m just not sure if my jealousy is unfounded, or if I truly have a reason to be jealous. Aidan is on a website called Nexopia, which is one of those sites where you set up a profile and can message people, etc. Sort of a friendship/meeting place type site where you can meet new people and check out profiles. I’m also on that site, and a few others, I might add.

He messages girls and compliments them or their pictures, nothing major, but a few times said someone was hot, or something like that. I think I have a right to be jealous over that, it drives me absolutely crazy. So I said fine, and started doing the exact same thing. I figured if he was allowed to do it, so was I. His excuse is that he wants to make them feel good about themselves. I say why is it your job to make some girl feel good about herself? He says he just wants to make friends and swears up and down that’s all it is.

Now there is this one girl he talks to very often, on a daily basis now. They’re conversations are very general, just about life, and experiences etc. He says she has a boyfriend. She also knows he has a girlfriend, and asked in one of her messages if his girlfriend (me) would be ok with them hanging out sometime, because they get along well and it would be cool.

I asked him straight up if he thought she was attractive, and he admitted he thought so, but that he isn’t going to replace me with her. I’m just gonna post the messages he sent me. I sent him an angry message because he had thanked her for her encouragement to quit smoking pot, and it totally set me off because I’ve told him many times he needs to stop.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Would you fucking settle down. Your begining to push me even further away with this dumb fuckign jelousy shit. You have never asked me to quit or anything. You’ve said that it’s bad and that you didn’t care is I smoke it every day till I die. You don’t even seem concerned for my health. Only after these couple days of quitting have you said well that’s good you don’t need it. You have gave me encouragement with saying how it’s all psycological attachment because that makes it much easier to break away from it. You always make me do good things and try to further myself and I appreciate these things. You have to stop seeing such bad things in your eyes and start aknologing all the good thingsa in your life. I hope you can see past this jhelousy becuase that is oe thing I can’t stand. I love you and you will always have a special place in my heart. I wish we could just get along easier. I know it’s not all your fault and I’m not trying to blame you for our fights or whatever but we have to come to an agreement and find some common ground.

All my love,
-Aidan

Yu get almost ALL of my off-time. You get to snuggle me. You get my kisses and hugs. You get my attention. You get my great sex. You get a ton of things of me yet you get immediately jelous of anyone I message. These people havent even got a second of me in real life situations. But yet it is a big issue for you. Please see things through my eyes. I’m here for you.

Love you,
-Aidan

So I’ve been looking on the net, trying to find some advice and help as to what to do.

As a girlfriend, do I not have a right to be jealous if my boyfriend is messaging a hot girl, even though its only in a ‘friend’ situation? Or am I just being way too jealous? I really need help, because fighting about this stuff all the time is putting a real damper on our relationship.

Help!

hersocalledlife

February 16, 2006

OMG i tottaly love your Diary I LOVEEEEEEE The Used and MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE (I THINK Geared is so hott so is BERT) omg girl i love your way of life and your personatily wow lol dude you should IM me sometime LiLsplitChic01 queer i know but it made it al ong time ago anyway i love your diary

My Floating Soul

I don’t know if it’s about wether you have a right to be jealous or not, the fact is you ARE jealous. Now, do you have a right to bug him about it? I don’t know. I guess you would if he was flirting or was interested in this girl, but you don’t know that he is, in fact he denies it. So until you find out that he is doing something he shouldn’t be then yeah, you are going a little overboard.

Pretty Fly Jedi

oI would just state to him the fact that you ARE jealous and you dont know why. That you are afraid to lose him. That if this girl is just a friend, he needs to lay off on the “hot” comments. It is one thing to tell a girl if she asks, “Am I ugly?” and say no, It is another to straight up say she is hot. I understand your jealousy, just dont let it ruin the relationship.

Rhapsody in Purple

At least he’s being honest about it. If something more was going on, he might try to hide the whole thing. But then again, who can really tell what goes through guys’ minds. ok, so my advice sucks. If you don’t trust him, its probably better not to be with him.

Sugar232004

February 17, 2006

I think you are being jealous, but you have reasons. He shouldn’t be going around the site and telling girls that they’re hot.

Descendant of Elves

Your are in no way in the wrong.. What HE is doing is wrong. In fact, I feel you have every right to feel jealous, and even a little bit suspicious. He should be putting his time into making sure YOU feel secure and loved, NOT into make these girls feel better about themselves. Don’t let him twist this around on you. You’re a gorgeous woman who deserves to be 100% the focus of your boyfriend’s

attention and affection. He should not be going around looking for other women to compliment, nor should he be claiming “well, shut up, you get all of my attention in real life..” So?? That’s like him cheating on you and saying “yeah, but baby, it’s you I come home to.” F*ck that.

There are two things I’d ask myself in this situation: 1) Why does he need to go out and make female friends?? It’s one thing if they are your MUTUAL friends, or, if maybe, he’s been friends with them for years, but why NOW does he need to make new girl friends?? 2) Why do they have to be hot?? Why doesn’t he make ugly new girl friends??

No I haven’t heard of the Used Nation sounds sweet. I do hope I get to see them one day I would love to see M.C.R. and The Used together. Your the girl I want to ask is Bert and Gered(sorry can’t spell his name) are they dateing or are the bi I saw them on the Fuse and they said they madeout and some girl asked if they were dateing and they laughed if they are bi thats great lol w/b hun

schoner engel

February 18, 2006

Random note: if he respects you as he says he does then he wouldn’t want to upset you and would drop this “friend” in a heartbeat instead of demanding you to just not be jealous about it. If he chooses keeping her in his life over your happiness, theres probably something more than friends there. If he loves you, he wouldn’t want to keep doing something that makes you upset

brownshiningangel

Don’t doubt yourself. You definetely have a right to be jealous! How is he making girls feel better? How will a daily interaction make the girl feel better? There is always the slight chance that he really is just friends… but chances are.. he’s not. I say, talk to him — but not in an angry manner… just in a hurt way. Make a list of the things you want to say to him, without sounding

(cont’d #2) aggresive. Then, he’ll be forced to listen to what you’re saying…. and not either avoid the subject or blow up on you. Don’t be rude. If that doesn’t work… Ask yourself how well you really know this guy. (I don’t mean to be a romantic party poopeer) (whatever :P)

February 19, 2006

RYN: i know what its like not to trust men anymore. That’s exactly where i am. But I’m single so its ok. its alot more difficult to be in a relationship where there is no trust. Maybe you should give yourself some time before doing the nun thing (also i thought that’s crossed my mind).