crippling adhd

ive had a pretty rough semester and by rough i mean my performance literally went down the drain. skipped so many classes and missed so many assignments. i dont know how to build up a support system to help me. i dont know how to reach out and ask for help from my family, partner, and friends because im so scared theyre going to hate me for lying that everything is fine. i dont even know if i can bounce back from this honestly. i havent been to the hospital in over half a year to get my meds restocked. and im just lying in this bubble of shame and failure and depression and i dont know what to do. the only things i can think of are ways to end my own life haha… but im not going to do that. i wish where im at would be more accommodating to mental health and acknowledge it as a disability. i wish i could be easier on myself too. i really need to get my shit together somehow but i cant help but feel like im a lost cause.