I was ok, until I wasn’t

If I don’t leave this abusive situation soon, I’m going to ask myself what’s wrong with you.  I almost left somewhere at the beginning of last week, I think. I was Very irritate about the new so called family dynamic. Why doesn’t she put things straight? She’s the head of the household? I read my Bible some, and started calming down. But after last night….. I absolutely can’t calm down. I don’t see how my mom doesn’t realize with her sense of taste and smell what’s going on. I think she doesn’t want to deal with it because I’m taking the brunt of it.  I was awake until nearly 5am. Not the first time I’ve been scared to sleep because I thought I might not wake up in the morning. This is the worst it’s ever been….my eyes are itchy and watery, my nose absolutely wouldn’t stop running until I got for away. I’m having trouble breathing out of one nostril. My eyes, nose, and mucus membranes are burning. My lungs are even burning, I’m coughing. I’m ok when I get out of the house. And she knows it. I’ve tried to tell her that her son is involved, and three people next door. I actually heard two of those ladies, who laughed at the way my 81 yr old mom was walking laugh just before I came in the house to go to bed. Why was I outside?…… because of the smell of chemicals inside the home.  I’ve told her we should call someone, have someone come find out what “might be going on.”  It’s like she doesn’t want to do anything just because the information is coming from me.  Makes Me Really Angry 😡! I think I’ll be calling domestic help # tomorrow. Thell them so she can have some protection. But me…… I’m sorry 😭 I’m not staying with someone who won’t listen to common sense, and not be abused. I’m here daughter, and I’m her daughter, but I’m not a child. I’m not going to go through this again!!!! And to think….. I had just a week to wait until I got another job.

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