today i wrote her letter… and i sent it.

 it’s hard to say this over the phone so i will write to you. i miss you. i miss what we started. i miss how i know you love me and how even when you did stupid things i never doubted that. i miss how protective you were over me. it confused me how you almost seemed to care… and to not care… at the same time. that still confuses me. but oddly enough i still miss you. i still love you even we can’t be in a relationship. i still wonder if I will ever find anyone who was as serious about me as you were. i don’t think i ever will.

sometimes i watch how happy Bri is never even knowing who cory really is. how happy she is just NOT knowing the truth.

sometimes i wish i could be like that. just be happy with what i dont know. and be happy with what i have. but i always wanted more for us than that. i wanted us to be stringer than just two people who are together because one has no clue what’s going on.

when you left that day… and when i found those messages that same week… there were parts of me that died. parts of me that i cannot ever get back.

you say that you have found yourself and that you are at peace now. I pray everyday for the moment when I will be able to say the same. i alright. and i am ok. but i am not at peace. not at all. i love you. i don’t mean to be weird… theses are just things i had been wanting to say.