lost ones(sumthing found digging thru old stuff)

writing in this way. seeing everything as one streaming line I can see my thoughts again. feel the pain again. use the words again and use them in a good way. I can see you in the cracks in the ground. in the stars that are beside me, though they’re empty inside. nothing can be obtained. and nothing can be taught that way.

we wonder what could make a person start this way. in what ways we could possibly imagine where or where now. when or when not to. that small feeling that you’re being watched, and suddenly you find yourself looking over your shoulder. wondering who may have been there just a few moments prior to one glancing motion.
When they sing of Salty V’s I think of you.
you were always the one i felt i let go.
I lost one.
sometimes i see you there, in my door way. playing tricks with me. I can see you there beckoning to me to go with you. to have fun. to do the things I hadn’t done before. I still see you standing there. posing in my bathroom. wearing my lingerie. i think of you then and I miss you.
you were the one i lost.
I remember when you’d sit there and try to make me smile. Always trying to get inside my head. You were always the best at that.