Can’t & won’t take it anymore!!!!

My mom had the gull to talk behind my back just before bed last night, and lie to my face about it.  She acted like Ann, one of her so called friends.  ALL THE PEOPLE I’M AROUND ARE HURT, AND THIS IS SO NOT HELPING ME.  I DON’T WANT TO BE HURT BY THESE NICKEL HEAD’S ANYMORE.  I’m getting in my head FORGIVE HER, and I can’t help me if you don’t let me.  Ok, God bless all of them.  But I’m either finding another place to live in the city I’m at now, or I’m going somewhere completely different.  I’m the closest I’ve ever been to just walking away!  I absolutely Not staying in a new family dynamic where my own mother says something while I’m in the other room about me that’s abusive and degreasing, and then come around and lie to my face when I have the gumption to confront her about it.  She probably doesn’t even remember what she did now.  I don’t Care Anymore.  I know that it happened, and I’m Not going to Let it Happen Again!!!! FORGET YOU!!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT!!!!!!  I don’t even care anymore!!!!

It’s later in the day. I think God is trying to calm me down.  Ok, I’m calming down. I gotta start thinking differently.  Because I sat down at a bench at Happy Valley Park….. and there was a black Ford just stopped in the middle of the road by the parking lot.  Just stopped and looking at where a family with kids was playing. It was like No one else noticed.  I turned around and looked at them.  I just don’t understand?  See there I go again.  This must be Angery Day or something.  I have had the drug addicts actually follow me to work and other places….. but I know now….. I just need to give it to God, and let Him deal with it. Don’t jump straight to anger.  I have to go back home and get into the word.  I’m about to pop a blood vessel here, and I don’t want to.