Anxiety Driven

CW: 45.6 kg / 100.5 lbs
BMI: 16.2

purge free: 4 days

I just came back from the dietition, where I broke down, yet again. We went over the weekend and then started doing meal plans for the next couple of days and trying to figure out then and there what to eat, I got so anxious and I couldn’t handle it.

I’ve come close to 3 panic attacks in the past 36 hours. She said that all of this anxiety is basically withdrawal symptoms from not allowing myself to b/p. God, I need a binge so badly right now!!! Unfortunately, my damn chestpains are a constant reminder of why I can’t. I just want them to go away. I want the muscle to heal, so I can b/p again. Fucked, I know…but i’m constantly agitated now.

I hate this constant feeling of anxiety. I’m afraid the smallest thing will go out of whack and I’ll be driven into a full blown panic attack.

This is all too hard. I need my roommate to go away. I need my chest and electrolytes to be okay. I need to binge. I need all those comfort foods and then I need to completely purge them away. Then and only then will the anxiety subside. I will have a little high. I’ll be able to focus once again and I’ll be calm.

These feelings are too much right now.

~Rachel

BabyCarrot147

September 18, 2006

maybe try to get a free 20 min or so and meditate? i know it sounds weird, but just like, even just sit down and be still and concentrate on your breath. even 5 minutes could make a difference in your day i think. or go for a walk if the weather is nice…just anything besides purging that could be calming is what i’d suggest. hope you’re feeling better soon! <3

the broken one

i like babycarrot’s idea. play some calming music and whatnot. but you should also look at the fact that you’ve had some purge free days and that’s something to be REALLY proud of, even though i know it’s causing some anxiety. i hope you’re able to work through it all. take care *hugs*

faithfully

Go for a run… run until you can’t any more… run it all out babe… -hugs- Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately…

westerndoll

I’m so sorry about the anxiety, but really, you are doing really well. Four days, four whole days without a b/p, that’s a lot, that’s a great accomplishment. Just keep going dearie, you’ll get through it, you’re a strong girl. Keep going.

Glitter Sniffer

I can’t stop myself from b/ping for that long. you’re a lot stronger than I am babe. Good luck hon.

lostinthemiddle

I use to have heart pains and low potassium too…and I b/p more than you….but I bought potassium/ magnesium pills an dnow my levels are normal

PurrfectPrincess

September 19, 2006

Hugs Your doing so good 4 days YAY!! I hope this anxiety passes soon