2001: Away

I really thought leaving my home town and moving 100+ miles away would give me enough space between all the Drama and headaches the town drew in. I moved in with my brother into this pretty cool 2 bedroom apartment. I was working for a place called Kinko’s (dating myself here if you remember that place). My brother was working for an agency that worked with IDD community in group homes. We had an Aunt who worked in this field, so we knew that work pretty well. My brother convinced me to leave Kinkos and come work with him. It was nice because I would work Wednesday at 2pm and was off at 10pm Friday. I would go home and go meet our friends who also moved up at some of the clubs. Would drink and dance until 2am. This was the normal every Friday and Saturday. Sunday I would sleep in and Monday and Tuesday  I would clean and workout.

This went on for awhile. Some Fridays I would find myself doing drugs with friends, but at first it started off slow. Also during this time I was helping a friend who was in a horrible car accident back home who was flown into my neck of the woods to rehab. I would spend most of days off there with her. Once and awhile I would hear from Rusty. Cell phones started coming a normal thing. Mostly texting and phone calls.

If I went back home to visit, I always let him know and we would hook up on those weekends. Then he would get back with Margo. Then he would come up to see me and be with me for 2 to 3 weeks.  Then leave for Margo. Then Margo and I ended things with him. We got tired of the back and forth. During that time I was working with a serious clients with mental issues, that he really was taking a toll on me.

Right before I moved, I should mention that was dealing with the some health issues at first it was nothing serious but once I moved away and was seeing specialist I had learned that I had Cervical Cancer. So here I was away from everything I really knew. I was dealing with now Cancer and I was hating the house I was working in. I was stressed. The more stressed I got the more I wanted to give up. I also needed to start treatment. That was not something I wanted to do either.

Rusty called me one night out of the blue and told me he was worried about me. I asked why and he said he had a bad feeling. I told him and 4am I get a knock at the door. He drove up so that I was not alone. No sex. Just talked and he held me. I think I needed that most. He told me I was not allowed to give up and I needed to fight. This is what I think of now days. He would not let others give up on life, he made sure everyone was a fighter.

My first round of chemo and radiation, he was there for me. He never let me give up. If a doctor told me 6 months to live, he was looking for a new doctor for me to see. He and I became friends during that time. He would hold me and would kiss my head or hand. But that’s it. After 6 weeks of intense therapy I was dealing with losing 2 friends in 9/11. The whole world was in a standstill. It was also during that time I was ready to move into a new group home.

I landed up in a new group home and a lot of changes had been taking place before I got there. They planned to get an assistant manager and new manager. So while my old boss was dealing with things, he was training his new assistant. Rusty and I would stay in touch off and on thru the weeks. He started dating some new girl and I was learning to wear wigs and make up to look less ill. My boss one day comes in during my shift to introduce his new assistant. When I saw him, I felt like I knew him. Couldn’t place him. Just had a face that looked familiar.

My boss left and the boss came in. She was a handful. Was not a fan, but the assistant was more in charge and around more to help. I found myself really drawn to him, but I didn’t know why. Each week there was flirting and talking more and more. He grew up on the other side of the state in some small ass town that I never heard of. But the more we talked, the more I wanted to know of him. Yet the more I talked to him, the more Rusty was no longer in the picture. I didn’t even bat an eye to it. This new guy was making me forget everything of my past and was becoming the new chapter in my life. I didn’t know it then but both these guys would play a huge part of my future.