Our story Part 4: summer 1997

The next day after surgery I woke up and Rusty was still there. The nurses had me moving around and trying to get me to go to the bathroom, I was there an extra night because of the bathroom situation. I explained I always had a hard time going to the bathroom if I wasn’t home. So they released me and instead of going back to my apartment.My parents made me go back to their house.

Because I had moved out.I had to sleep on the couch. Rusty showed up everyday at eight o’clock in the morning and would stay there until about 10pm. After two days at home, I still was unable to go to the bathroom. My mother was giving me prune juice in the Morning. By the afternoon she had given me laxatives. By evening my mother had suggested to give me an enema.  I was horrified of this idea because he was there.

My mother had closed off her bedroom door and had placed me on the bed. Within seconds I was able to finally go.But I pretty much stayed in the bathroom for about two hours. About an hour in.I had a knock at the bathroom door. Rusty had told me that he was going to pick up dinner for everybody in the house and it asked me what I wanted. In my head I was screaming.Please go away. When he returned I was out of the bathroom. I was still horrified that he was at the door while I was going to the bathroom. He never laughed.He never judged he just was concerned and was there for me. It was because of this incident it made me fall in love with him.

I thought I had been in love before but what I felt with him was completely different. I started to look at my past relationships. And I could not find the same genuine love concern. Empathy sympathy, life expectancy’s as I did with him. My other exes could not compare how he was with me. He was really sweet & caring.

I stayed with my parents 4 days. I went back to my apartment and continued to heal As best I could. 2 weeks After surgery I was given the o k to go back to work and to get back to a normal task at hand. I was no longer on pain medication and I was back at work. Mid August Rusty came over & I didn’t want him to leave. It hurt every time he did.  He called his mom and told her he wasn’t gonna be home that night and that he would deal with his dad in the morning. I was so proud of him for standing up to his dad.Because when I first met him he was not the type to talk back to his parents. This could be another reason why his dad didn’t like me so much

The first time he stayed over was our first intimate night as well. The thing about that night was it was full moon and the moonlight Was shining through my bedroom window. He had this grin from ear to ear On his face and when I asked why he was smiling he said he couldn’t believe this was his first time. In shock.I thought maybe I misunderstood him and he meant it as it was our first time. No I did not hear wrong. This was his first time. I moved away from him as fast as I could because this was not my first time but it was my first time with him. When I asked how was that possible he told me.I was his first everything. His first girlfriend. His first kiss. And that I took his virginity away.

I was corrupting this poor guy and I felt so bad for it. He tried to convince me that it was okay and that he was glad it was me and not somebody else. I on the other hand did not feel okay with being the first. I saw a lot of my male friends Become whipped little dogs with girls they slept with. This night changed everything. As we fell asleep and he held me in his arms.I felt safe and loved and it scared the hell out of me. He was everything I wanted , but I didn’t feel like it deserved it.

In the middle of the night I went to the bathroom and when I came back.I looked at him while the moon shined on his face and I noticed he wasn’t breathing. I thought maybe I wasn’t fully awake.And I looked at his chest and did not see it rise. I shook him awake and when he woke up he asked what was wrong. I explained he was not breathing and I was concerned. He told me he had something called sleep apnea and sometimes he doesn’t breathe. He rolled over like it was no big thing and then I woke him up again. What do you mean You just stop breathing? This is the first time I learned about sleep apnea. Mind you this is 1997 & accessing things was not as easy.

We landed up sleeping together at least four times that night. He had the energy of an energized bunny. I finally found somebody who matched my libido. At that time I didn’t know it but looking back that’s what it was. From that point on, we always had sex anytime He was over and not just once but sometimes three or four or six times in a day.

His Dad was causing a lot of problems for us & because of it I couldn’t allow myself to be the cause of it.  This would be the cause of a breakup one of many. I didn’t want to break up with him. But I could not be the cause of his father and him fighting anymore. I tried really hard to not answer his phone Calls to not be home most nights just in case he came over. I tried to walk away and do right by him. It would be almost 2 months after we broke up before I would see him again. It was my birthday and I was not expecting to see him.