Reflections on a Fractured Friendship
Reflections on a Fractured Friendship (Part Two of Dancing with a Rouge Valkyrie)
As the reality of the situation unfolded, the air around me felt heavier with each passing moment. The unintended disclosure of my journal post not only threatened the delicate balance of my existing relationships but had unknowingly set off a chain of emotional repercussions far beyond my immediate circle.
During one of our near-constant daily messaging sessions, the Valkyrie initiated a discussion that unexpectedly led to deeper revelations. “Then she is my problem,” she noted, prompting me to share the messages I had received from X. I had hoped it would clarify the situation, but instead, it opened a Pandora’s box of emotional turmoil.
X’s Messages:
“Wowzers. You’re an incredible wordsmith, T. Almost brings me to tears because it so closely encapsulates how I have felt. I wish I had answers for you, my friend. My only advice is this – be very, very careful. You’re already aware of the potential fallout. Once begun, you can’t undo.”
“I can tell you till the cows come home about the indescribable pain, shame, sadness, guilt, depression, remorse, suicide attempt, therapy, etc., that followed after my affair. And it’s all still there – unresolved.”
The Valkyrie’s reaction to these messages was one of immediate concern. “Careful of me?” she asked, a simple question loaded with implications. I replied, awkwardly trying to navigate the conversation, “Sort of, but not in a bad way. Sorry, was meant to send you the second part to her message,” knowing very well that the ‘be careful’ remark was not a warning against the Valkyrie but a warning about adultery in general.
Her response highlighted her discomfort and misunderstanding of the situation. “I’m not impressed she thinks I’m going to be anyone’s affair. I’ve never said that. I’ve never agreed to be anyone’s anything.” The miscommunication spiralled quickly. The Valkyrie, hurt by the implications, withdrew, her dorky smile replaced by a cool distance more cutting than any words could be. What had once been a source of joy and emotional support now seemed irretrievably tainted by my indiscretion.
Not only did the Valkyrie feel attacked, but worse, I had potentially inflicted further wounds on other friendships, for which I was responsible. That post ultimately led to the destruction of two friendships: my longstanding friendship with X and a new, profound friendship with the Valkyrie a relationship about five months and five days old, which had provided me with more support, advice, and guidance during my mental health and personal journey than any other before.
Granted, the post was about my feelings on the friendship and what I thought could come from it one day. As a husband and a father, rather than act on it and attempt to step out of the friend zone, I posted it on this platform my supposed anonymous post about a fantasy that wouldn’t work. I knew it wouldn’t work; I am married, no adulterer, and the Valkyrie is far too young, just starting what I’m sure will be a great life for her family.
Again, as the Valkyrie had not read the post, I had to do the right thing and send it to her what I had written. This act took our relationship from close friends to an awkward space where the unspoken was suddenly spoken. Maybe I did harbour some feelings, but I would never try.
And much like the power and force of Thor’s hammer swing, my friendship with the Valkyrie was shattered with the same force. The emotional outpour was indelible, and the impact was devastatingly clear.
In this tangled web of relationships and repercussions, I realised the true cost of my emotional escapades. The journey ahead would require not just apologies but a profound re-evaluation of how I navigate the spaces between personal desire and collective responsibility.
As the quiet of reflection settles around me, my thoughts continually return to the Valkyrie, not just as a character in this story but as a paragon of virtues that echo those of her chosen mythological namesake.
Virgo’s & Valkyrie’s
“Known to some as Virgos Valkyrie, Valkyrie Virgos,
In ancient times, beneath skies where thunderous gods roamed,
They dwelt in the celestial halls of Thor’s mighty dome,
Where Valkyries and Virgo spirits made their sacred homes.
Valiant shield-maidens, their virtues brightly shone,
Lifting heroes to the skies, where their fates were sown,
True judges of the purest hearts, in valour fully grown,
Whose honour, like the stars above, eternally was known.
Life seeks order, chaos to overthrow and disown,
Each Virgo’s soul is independently strong, steadfastly flown.
With fiery fidelity, these maidens blaze fiercely alone,
Untamed and free, their hearts’ fires fiercely blown.
You once trusted this Virgo’s heart, its strength shown;
Steadfast it shall remain, its truth ever my backbone.
I cherish the lessons learned, the wisdom you’ve thrown,
Grateful for your guidance, under which I’ve grown.”
This journey, though paused, continues to resonate with your influence on me. It’s a testament to your qualities’ real and lasting impact, far beyond any myth. You are the extraordinary woman I know as the Rouge Valkyrie, whose presence has profoundly shaped my life.