3/11/2024

I started the day by breaking up officially and probably finally with April. She continued to struggle with the fact that I built an online profile and contacted a woman and talked to her no matter how brief. I tried to help explain my issues during the month of February but she did not want to hear it at all. She kept insisting that I started searching for a woman 48 hours after we were together. I asked her when the last time we were “us” was. She said the end of January but this was confusing to me because we barely talked in January. What she meant was we started talking to each other again at that time. I walked her through how every week during February she pushed me away. The first weekend she had a “girls weekend”, the second week she blocked me the day of Valentines Day and would not talk to me for days again. The third week we saw each other on Wednesday then that night she blocked me through the weekend again. We started talking again on Monday then on Wednesday night she ghosted me while she was with her sister for 3 days. That final time is when I reached out to someone else. When April and I started talking again that Friday I started to stop talking to Trisha and Sunday morning God spoke to me about how I turn to women when I get totally lost and can’t find my way. That is when I stopped talking to Trisha all together and recommitted to being dedicated to April. What April was most upset about was I was telling her all month that I had not been talking to anyone else and she was the only one for me. The fact that I opened up a profile was too much for her to handle. Because of my history and her history and our history together this crushed her. She could not take any more of the back and forth and needed to end everything. This morning I agreed that was the best plan of action even though I did not want it at all. I cried until I fell asleep. April and I texted some through the day but it was not a lot. Abrielle had her counseling appointment with Evie at 1 and Caleb wanted to go get drinks. He woke me up around 1:30 to go do that. I guess we passed Abriell and Evie as we pulled out of the apartments. We went ahead and got a Monster for Caleb after cashing my check from Jay. I went back home and fell asleep again. Abrielle took the car to Joplin to go dress shopping with mom. She is still looking for a prom dress but couldn’t find anything they could afford. The least expensive dress she liked was $500. When I woke up to go to work Abrielle was upset because she only has like 4 days off before prom on the 29th to shop for a dress. I tried to reassure her that we would find one without a problem. Mom and I talked on my way to work tonight and she reassured me that she would keep looking for a dress and we would be able to find one. I also talked to her some about April. She insists that I do not need to have a woman in my life right now and I need to stay single.