Jester’s Journal #5 MY PRISON

Please forgive me, my heart is stone cold. The words fly around in my head, and my emotions are buried underneath my scars. I can picture your silhouette when I stare at the moon and look away during the day so beauty does not blind and cloud my eyes. And I sit here, above the clouds, as my heart beats the rain, my sorrow drowns. I want to cut out my eyes and become blind. My soul leaves as soon as I learn to fly. I created this prison, and now I cannot escape. My love, you’ve healed my wounds. I’m not going to lie–I’ve been estranged from this world. I’ve lived a lonely life and made peace with what I’ve desired. I go from mission to mission as the wind blows me in many directions. Love has always been the hardest emotion for me to express. I don’t know why. I don’t know if the reason was my desire for seclusion or the torture inflicted on me. I DON’T KNOW WHY IT IS SO HARD! And that desire to express what is so hard for me to express tortures me even more inside. I’M TRYING TO BE A BETTER PERSON!!! All in all, I hope you can be patient as I dig my way out of this hole. Please know that your love helps.

In Tears and Blood
My love,

–The Jester