Contract Fail = Job Ending. No big deal.

The title says it ALL.

My agency was so sure they’d get this contract/grant.  Literally, every time I asked – including asking all the way to the top of the food chain, I received answers of “We’re confident”.  As time went on – my confidence was waning.  If it was so cut and dry – It wouldn’t take forever for one government agency to tell the other one they were receiving said contract and grant money.  My skepticism was warranted.  Finally, Tuesday we got the email…  The contract was awarded to the other bidder.  Do not pass go.  These positions will not be funded as of 6/30/24. Don’t worry yet tho – we’ll figure it out. Yeah, that’s what DPHHS told me last time and it was far from figured out.

So, I go from being offered a fabulous position/promotion if we get the grant – to not having a job in 6 months when we don’t.  Ha.  I LOVE the government. Often, I question why exactly I’m in this field. Seriously, it’s like one of the main employers you never know what will come next.

We’ve been told not to panic. DLI is good at absorbing their own. Hopefully it doesn’t come to RIF’s. All that shit. Originally, I was pretty sad. Far sadder than I thought I’d be. My idea of just selling my house and running away to be homeless was appealing. Until it clicked I still need income to sign for 2 more years of Alex’s student loans. I still need health insurance on these young adults for at least Zak’s next two surgeries. Then I panicked for a minute.

I’ve realized – if it comes to it – I’m easily hirable by DCFS. Slightly more money. I hate the thought but I do have a back up plan if I’m jobless come 7/1. So, I’m done panicking. It’s going to be fine. I’ve also been told by the union I actually have seniority and would end up taking someone else’s job down the street who has the same title but a different funding source. Sounds like I’m good there too but that makes me extremely sad and isn’t cool.

I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the show. Angrily of course. I did email the commissioner my updated resume and a very nice email. Ensuring he’s aware I am fully able and willing to work from home. I have the space for a private office. I can easily fill any role needed and I’m considering a final year to get my Masters if that would assist with any positions. Assuring him, I’ve decided if it comes down to it I’ll go down with the ship with the confidence he’ll be giving me a new position. I’d heard he was worried everyone will quit before the contact is up. So, wanted to throw that out there – And be damn sure my name is a remembered one when looking at other roles. He replied quickly, thanking me, agreeing with my point and forwarding my information to HR and the next in line – so they have everything needed to find another position. Though, he hopes it doesn’t come to that.

Are we wishing on a fucking star? It’s coming to that my dude. We LOST. They’re hoping the new company will at least subcontract to us. Really? I want my clients. I don’t want their bread crumbs or to be associated with them. They are awful with a bottom line focus and not client focus. No. Thank. You.

I’m seriously just not going to super stress and simply line my ducks while I wait for whatever the fuck these people think will fall from the sky. I will be fine.


Savings wise – It’s honestly just the money that worries me if I am laid off on 7/1. I have no doubts I can get a job in the government easily. I just don’t want those jobs. Not the easy to get awful ones. It doesn’t sound like I will be at all. But I realized I need to get this shit of a savings account done correctly. Incase the worst case scenario EVER happens.

Did the math and determined what I need per month to just pay basic bills – mortgage, car, insurance, phone, utilities – the shit with a due date on it. Dave Ramsey says you should save 3-6 months expenses into an emergency fund. So, my goal is to get 3 months saved by 5/31/24. It could possibly be way sooner,  but knowing the expenses I have coming up – I’m not going to count on it. I’ll still have waiting tables and unemployment to supplement savings – but I want to be prepared for like world ending emergencies. Like I have cancer and can’t work for 3 months type shit. Eventually, I’d like to have the 6 months saved. That’s high on my list before anything else.

So much for 2024 being the vacation year. It’s the saving year instead. Better luck come 2025 I guess. Fuck. It’ll be fine I can save pretty well when I try.


The main thing that bothers me – my clients. I currently have an intensive case load. It’s not the normal welfare recipients we’d been getting that just want free money, sanction out and disappear. I’ve got 9 that are in-depth, attending in-person meetings more than once a week voluntarily, addressing huge barriers, calling nearly daily. My job description includes “intensive case management” and boy does this specific group meet the criteria. I’ve adopted a far more hands on approach the last few months and it’s WORKED.

These ones (not counting the typical clients, etc.) are making progress. They’re calling me thrilled with updates. They’re overcoming homelessness, addictions, abuse, trauma, chronic and terminal medical conditions. They’re getting great jobs for themselves and their skills. They’re reaching out when they need help. They’re honestly amazing and just needed someone to believe in them.

The new company that won – they won because they suck. They’re a for-profit company that had something billion in revenue last year. They lobby millions to get these government contracts. They offer to cut the bottom line, implement call centers, do appointments virtually. I’ve researched them extensively the last few days and their practices make me sick. They’ve had so many lawsuits filed. They’ve screwed so many places. Yet, they look good until you dig. Their cost was half of ours which is a lot.  There is a docuseries that actually brought this company up and questioned if they were to blame for a child’s death as they wouldn’t approve overtime to report abuse and encouraged their workers to not get involved. Are you fucking kidding me?

I’m so fucking angry over this part. I can handle losing. Not to this shady ass place tho. To a company that literally profits off of the poor. Profits off of the most vulnerable individuals in our society. Gives the LEAST help possible while making a profit. Fuck. You.

I have been vocal about this. Very vocal. I’ll be writing a letter (more like a research paper) and emailing it before the 7 day public comment window is over Tuesday. Can I stop this? Doubtful. But I won’t be silent. Could this affect future employment? Probably. Do I care? No. Who is going to advocate for these clients if I don’t? For the people that don’t have a voice.

This is a population that can’t do “virtual”. They don’t have phones, internet or computers half the time. They are simply surviving to the next day. They’re trying to figure out how they’ll feed their kids or where they’ll sleep. The company said they’d give everyone a free Chromebook. Ummmm, and Internet? My reservation clients will pawn that before you blink and even many of my current clients. It’s a paperweight. They often have disabilities, low education, no knowledge of resources or their rights. They NEED face to face. I’m all about virtual when possible but the intense ones won’t benefit from that. These specific 9 – they’d of been done long ago if I didn’t have an open door policy I’m trying out. This agency also doesn’t have all resources and individualized people the locals have. They won’t know who to call easily. Yeah, they can give a number. But to know who exactly to talk to and what the best time to call is, etc? No way. To get a therapist to make an exception and accept a new client as I personally referred them and only refer true emergencies. Nope.

Examples with a few of these 9….

J is a homeless single mom with 2 school aged kids. She isn’t working as the school told her she HAD to homeschool her kid as it was better than having him at school with sensory processing disorder. She’s tried working but he can’t be alone all day in a random hotel room. She doesn’t have a license. No local family. She struggles from mental illness too. No high school…. First, I asked if she wants to homeschool or her son does. NO. The school was putting him in the hall as the kids were too loud and then a closet (not kidding) and he’d become suicidal over it….. J didn’t know he had the right to special education, the right to an education in the least restrictive environment. I’ve set her up with 2 school related advocacy groups and this is being addressed. When he’s in school – she can work. I personally met with her and another agency that helps individuals with disabilities – they’re helping her with this, with her HiSet and with housing. I assisted her in negotiating and affordable flat hotel rate while she waits for low-income. I told her a few times a week how great she was doing addressing barriers. She’s continued powering through. She’s got a job offer from an agency that sees her potential. We talk nearly daily. She likes to come in. Likes the accountability. Likes the encouragement. This companies vision – never would have done all this. Ever.

M is a barely 18 year old brand new single mom. She enrolled in tears 36 weeks pregnant. Her own birth parents lost custody of her. The mother that raised her has died. Birth mom had told her the whole family was so mad she was pregnant and wanted nothing to do with her. So she was just alone. We started talking and I personally knew her extended family and knew there was no way this was true. I spent 2 weeks walking her through how to approach her family. Helping her apply for low income housing. Assuring her she was nothing like her birth parents. This girl got a job in the medical field at 38 weeks pregnant. Knowing she would have to quit at birth. She listened and applied when I mentioned seeing if she could start after baby was born as it would pay her bills. She was a rockstar and worked until she was admitted to have baby. Literally until the final moment. She asked to come in when the baby was 2 days old to talk about paperwork and what she did next. She asked to come in again today with a one week baby as she questions. Since meeting with her I’ve learned she has learning disabilities. She can’t read well. She needs assistance but is a fabulous hands on learner. She’s got her head on more than mothers that are much older. Yet she’s still just a child.

Today she came in with a crying baby. And simply told me – I don’t know what’s wrong. I’d mentioned in the beginning I’m a baby whisperer and to always ask if she had questions as I’d be happy to help. I asked if she wanted me to get her out of the carseat – Yes please. I figured out baby was gassy and explained to her how to tell and what to do. We worked out gas bubbles and she was as good as could be. While doing this I asked questions, encouraged family time with her healthy family, helped activate her EBT card she couldn’t get to work (I honestly suspect dyslexia at this point).

She is back in contact with her family. Birth mom lied. She’s moving in with her grandma TONIGHT who will be an amazing help. Grandma cut her umbilical cord and her cousin and adopted sister were there. She’s built a great support network and they’ll help her going forward. I’m so thankful for this.

But again – this company wants virtual – they’d of never picked up on her reading without being in-person. They’d of never known she had family to fall back on. Never known who would hire her at 38 weeks and who to talk to and how. They wouldn’t have had her come in to help with paperwork and activating her card. And they sure as hell wouldn’t have held her baby and taught her valuable parenting skills and calmed an uncomfortable baby.

These clients won’t be people. They’ll be a number. They won’t be advocated for. They won’t be empowered. They probably won’t be reminded of their rights in society. They’ll fall through the cracks. It breaks my heart. A vulnerable population with yet another resource taken away. It’s bullshit really.

Why does it get under my skin so badly? I was that 16 year old single mom with no support once. I was that homeless mom with 3 kids struggling to make ends meet. An in-person agency advocated for me, with me. They taught me my rights. They taught me how to advocate for myself. They encouraged me and empowered me to build a life for myself. With this help and encouragement – I beat all the statistics. I graduated high school, overcame addictions at a young age, got an AAS and Bachelors. Made too much to qualify for any kind of public assistance by the time my 3 kids were all in school (so 5, 6 & 8?). Own a “new” car. Own my own home. Have two kids with diplomas and college – one will be a full on pilot before I’m 42. One kid who went the trade route and makes 6 figures a year already.

Without those two ladies that believed in me and empowered me – I hate to think where I’d be. I likely would have been a statistic.

That’s why I care. That’s how I know how important in-person and knowing ALL the resources are. These people are literally what could and does make the difference in a person’s life path.

I could go on forever. But my hand hurts and I’m done. For today.

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